mornings are starting to scare me..each morning I’d wake up with a start at 8 plus..only to have my heart beating hard..it usually takes time for my heart beat to go back to normal before I can finally fall asleep again..have been dreaming of puaysian for the last two nights..considering how I can start dreaming within falling asleep for 5 mins..yes..I can start dreaming even when I doze off during lectures.. i had 2 dreams of him last night..the first was one where he asked me to resume our relationship..I was of course happy because I’ve been missing him..but I also started thinking of how I was going to let all my friends who have already known we’ve break up know of this new installment..the second one was when I was in a library and he was there too..for some unknown reason..I wanted to buy the 6 installments of the Narnia series..I took them down and we sat on the library floor with me leaning on him..after some time..he suddenly said that we shouldn’t be doing this as we’ve already broken up..well..guess it was a gd dream as we were like before only that we were now only friends..then as we walked out of the library..I was listening to this really fast-paced song and strangely..he could hear it too and started dancing..it was all the suave and cool moves man..totally konked out and weird dream!
it was only when I woke up that reality hit back and I’m still single and not communicating much with him..I called last night actually..after feeling lonely..the night does this to me..since sec 3..I’ve been yakking to someone on the phone..for the whole of sec 3..it was serena..we had loads to talk ‘bout noe..even though we sat together in class..we could talk until 5 am in the morning..the next day in sch..we used the first 2 periods which were bio to rest..or sleep in other words..then it was puaysian for the next 3 years..we would msg each other everyday unless we quarreled or either one of us were not in the Singapore..calling each other every night almost became a routine..so these past 2 nights were quite a torture to me..
i called him yesterday night to find out that he cut his head botak..he told me earlier on in our relationship that he would cut off all his hair after his first break-up..but I nonetheless surprised..he has never changed his hairstyle all these years..and to cut his hair all off came as a huge humongous shock..wondered how he looks like now..but I called him when he was playing game so he seemed quite distracted..that made me quite sad after I hung up..but he looked for me on MSN..but coincidentally or unfortunately..my mother was using the internet..
however, my mother only found out that he was looking for me when my sister went to look at what my mother was doing on the internet..she told him that it was my mother and said goodnight..as I started crying after hanging up the phone..my dear sis was there to talk to me and distract me from all the evil and sorrowful thoughts..my mother came into our room and I pretended to be asleep..she said that there was something wrong with me noe..and asked my sis why I closed down the MSN window where puaysian typed..haiz..wonder what my mother and sis are thinking of me..but I’m really grateful for all my friends and family that are there for me now..
speaking of friends..I was just telling carmen that I would get drunk and drown all my sorrows on wed..and she started lecturing me that she would be reluctant to bring me go clubbing if I were to forget my sorrows and getting drunk in alcohol..haa..I have no idea whether to laugh or cry when I read that msg..am I such a non-sensible person to her? I was just thinking that it would be easier to break the news to her and andrea after I get a little tipsy..but she’s just being a caring friend afterall..brian was also there for me..said I could msg him if i couldn’t sleep..feel so touched by all my friends’ concern..
i messaged puaysian before I slept asking him whether I could still call him at night when I needed someone..I woke up this morning to check my phone which I was charging to get a real pleasant and warm feeling..he replied saying sure and asked why I was still awake even though it was late last night when I msg..he’s really a good friend to have..hope all the sadness and sorrow would disappear soon and we’d be comfortable around each other as good friends..
