The most courageous act is still to think for yourself. Aloud.

yep..felt happy finally after a long long time! my interview sucked though..thought i was late ydae when i met timonthy on the way to nus AGAIN..his interview was right in front of me by the same panel..haa..so i wouldn't be late because it wouldn't be my turn until he was done with his interview..waited a VERY long time before led into the room..sigh..felt like i was just sprouting crap in there..don't feel like re-enacting the scene..don't want it to haunt me..

went to meet carmen at her workplace at sing post..then off to bugis for shopping! haa..discovered that there are actually lotsa shops at bugis..when we were having kunch at kfc..carmen brought out her shopping list! whoa!one long list man! haa..i like! yeah..i like it when i go shopping and whoever is with me buys lots of things..makes me happy..

we spent a really long time at bugis without buying anything..but then carmen lead me into being tempted to buying paopao cha at the rockery..don't tempt me with food can not?! i give in easily one..we sat down and she started telling me 'bout her tuition kid..haa..she got to teach him stuff like john likes to ____ with choices like play, playing played or something else..haa..some lucky kid out there is fortunate that i'm not a tuition teacher or i'd tell the fellow to put whatever sounds correct..'cause that's what i did in the past! whahaha.

after that we stepped into espirit because i wanted to show her the polo tee i wanted to buy but i only saw it in another colour..and guess what i saw on the price tag..50 GIGANTIC % OFF!! actually it only put 50% off lar..haa..but not the colour i like!! aaaahh!! i almost scare carmen off..haa..

we decided to go suntec int he end as there were also lotsa shops there..and because espirit was there and i found my beloved polo there!!!! yeahy!! okie..i'm starting to sound overenthusiastic..very happy lar..waited so long to buy it..anyway..i've got an announcement..whoever likes wide flary jeans..go to suntec city levis store NOW!!! it's on sale at a mighty low price of $35!

and charlene came to join us after that..haa..i'm so grateful for carmen's walking speed 'cause my feet hurt and my little toe (can it be callled a pinky toe?) felt as if it was going to drop off anytime..settled on macs for dinner..haa..i ate the mcspicy double..bleah! going to go fat..and we decided to go watch divergence at tampines!

divergence is so cool!!! but only 'cause of daniel wu..go watch it man..he's a hottie in the film..haa..so carmen, charlene and i settled for one guy each..charlene's was ekin cheng..carmen's was gallen lo and mine was daniel wu..woot! he's a bad guy in the show..real kewl sniper!

that night..just as i was fallng into dreams of maybe some bad guy..my stomach started moaning..yeah..telling me to go toilet where i let out all my food for the day..haa..diarrohea lar!

next morning..i had to go work..sian! but a miracle happened..i went to bathe before going to work..that never ever happens..i detest bathing..esp. early in the cold morning..had a good day at work because almost all the ppl there were treating this gal who was leaving to luch..so everyone got into cars and drove to hans at hougang mall..hans was okie..but after that..most of the ladies there wanted to go shopping! haa..and i bought this bit of accessory! damn kewl! have been waiting to get another wrist thingy since i got my brown one at metro paragon..this one is purple and is damn shiny..haa..attract attention woa! and this lady called grace had a discount card at that store! so it was under 9 bucks! haa..like to go shopping with my office ppl..they're all so happy while shopping..haa..went back to office to find that one fo my colleagues called aichoo also like to make stuff like earrings..haa..found a fellow kaki!

work is good..i sit there earning money doing nothing but answering calls and some other simple stuff..haa! can't wait for the money to be banked into my account..yep..happy two days.but some stuff will still be in my head no matter what..

hey handphone..i'm so sorry for neglecting you these few weeks..but no one is msging me! bleah..my handphone used to be part of me last time..going wherever i go..even when i'm bathing('cause i bathe damn long one lar)..i'd bring it in and put it on top of the toilet bowl flusher thingy (izzit called a cistern)..okie..watever..

there was also this time when i was a horror show freak..when i'd watch all the horror shows that comes out in the cinema..but i'd get too scared at night..esp. when i had to burn midnight oil to catch up on my tutorials..and then daniel ong announced on the radio (he was doing jive drive then) that the radiation from handphones were supposed to keep you safe from all ghostly stuff..when you get scared..what to do..so i'd bring my handphone everywhere...

remember there was this period when the newspapapers kept publishing articles about handphone radiation burning your brain cells and what not..my mother told me to switch off my handphone at night..but 'cause i couldn't stay awake to wait for puaysian's call..i would put it beside my pillow..then i thought the most effective place to feel vibration would be on my stomach but no lae..serena told me the most effective way to not wake the whole house up and yet answer an incoming call when sleeping..it was to switch to silent mode with vibration on and place it under your pillow..haa..tried once..and got freaked out of my dream man!

now my handphone is used only as an alarm clock and to answer wrong number calls..sian..oKAY..there're a few messages but not much lae..i didn't even knew that my phone was ringing today when it did..forgot what ringtone i chose le..serena asked me to pei her to buy this le coq sportif rectanglar bag..but i was working..she said meet after work one..made me quite happy 'cause i'm having good hair day today..but she's going on sat instead..bleah..

so if anyone is free..just drop me a msg so that my handphone would not be bored okie..sigh..won't be able to use to comp tonight so won't get to talk to someone i want to talk to..too bad..going interview tmrw le..want tell you to have a good rest 'cause know you sure tired one..



just couldn't wake up this morning after 3 long nights of piggish sleeping..work was good because i got to know the people and were able to make small talk with them..but life is going to be hell from now on..my mother is in her frustratingly, irritated mood..that is..frustrating to me and my sis..she can scold us for whoever knows what..and it's damn irritating! i hate it!!!!!!!

don't you sometimes wish you could just pack your bags leave and yet have enough money and love..sigh..but that will never happen because it is not meant to be like this in the first place..all things click perfectly in this world of ours..

thinking about it..being a mother is not good..you do all the housework if there were no maid..you make sacrifices(e.g. giving ur child something you want-like you'd like to eat the chicken wing but no..u have to give it to your child because you love him/her and have to settle for some other disgusting part of the chicken)..you have to discipline your child for his/her own good with only a sulky face in return..you have to help your child when he has a problem but not vice-versa..and many many more stuff i wouldn't like to do..i wonder whether mothers break down and cry sometimes like lynette does in the desperate housewives..it's just so tough being a mum..worst of all..you have to do all of the above without expecting anything in return..thinking about it..all mums are great..no matter how angry you get at them..you have to remember that they do not deserve you shouting or throwing your temper at them..

sigh..but it's tough..pretty sad now..used to have puaysian to talk to in the past whenever i was down..made him crack some joke for me..most of the time it wasn't funny..but i was cheered up because he tried so hard..it's funny how you don't treasure stuff you have in front of you until they're gone..

if you ask me to judge how much i've changed since i was a child..i can tell you that i've change for the worse..i used to be a rather strong and independent child in the past..whenever i got scolded or beaten by my parents..i would suck it all up and told myself to stop crying..when i got scolded by my teacher in front of everyone..i'd not cry no matter what..during napfa (it was only 1.6km in pri sch), when my friends stopped because they were too tired..i carried on by myself..

it all started changing in sec sch..maybe hormones playing up bah..stop being that strong..or maybe i found out that there were many people around me better than me in many other ways..couldn't control my emotions that well..but i had a happy exciting sec sch life so it didn't really matter.. i carried on running when i was tired during napfa..then i met puaysian in sec 3..was really happy then..felt so excited everytime we met at paya lebar mrt with no idea where we would be going..as the relationship went on..he told me that i could tell him any problems of mine..i wasn't used to sharing problems..i kept them all inside me and being the strong person i was..i didn't break down..but slowly i let him know all my problems..over time..i went to him with any problems..everytime i felt sad..i'd cry then go to him to be comforted..

and so..i became a weakling..jc came..i was taking triple science and my grades were very sucky..it was very hard to not be depressed when you were surrounded by people who didn't try and yet got excellent grades! decided to drop physics on my own accord to pull up my socks..yet i scored an excellent 29/100 for chemistry in my first major paper after that..wth..i still remembered asking my friend whether there were any more papers to add up..and my friends told me, 'THAT"S THE FINAL SCORE.' oKIE..she didn't shout..but i swear that my eardrums suddenly became very sensitive..went into a major state of depression after that..all night all i could do was cry..in the morning when i went to school..i was so sleepy..i slept during lectures and tutorials and ended up feeling angry with myself..so i started crying again at night..it was mad i tell you..had puaysian to drag me out of that never-ending tunnel that i was winding deeper into..so i really have to thank him for my a level results..napfa became a torture for me! i got tired during 2.4 run..my friends said let's stop and wait for the rest to run another round and then we'll cheat one round..but the whole group were waiting for us to run another round before starting another..haa..embarrassing and a waste of energy to act tired..

but now..when i'm depressed..do i have people to turn to? nope..'cause i remembered not sharing any problems with anyone save for puaysian..maybe it's time for me to build my walls again and be strong..i'm not sure..but it's tough..

it's been a long time since i chatted with puaysian on the phone..only way to talk to him is online..but i can't really say all i want to say online..not sure why too..it's tough lar..i know why i have friends who have boyfriends who do not treat them well but yet they choose to stick with them..losing someone that close is real tough..and it's not easy to change your life so easily in an instant..

turning into a freak..sigh..this break of 8 months from studying is supposed to be a joyous period..i better do something 'bout it before i waste the whole time!

well..to be positive..my next long entry will be about the happier times in my life..please make sure i write that or you'd better shake me to my senses..



my title says it all...
haa..the manual dexterity test is over..hilarious man the things they got you to do..but kinda tough too..took the train all the way to buona vista..long journey man..and while waiting for the bus..guess who i met?! timonthy! haa..he was going for the test too..didn't think that he's the kinda guy who would apply for dentistry..he looked more like the engineering kind..it was nice having a friend there..thought i was going to be the only tjc student there..lala..'cause didn't hear of anyone else going today..

let me explain it to you peeps in detail..there were 3 questions..

first question: they gave you an acrylic enlarged version of a tooth(a molar to be exact--haa) and you had to use plastacine to model it to the acrylic version..sounds easy? but it's not...have a feeling that the plastacine is expired or something man..it was so hard! how to mould?!! or is plastacine always that hard? didn't dare touch it last time during primary school projects 'cause they stink! sat beside timonthy..and he told me i had to use water to mould it..had no idea you had to do that at all!

second question: they gave you this plaster thingy that was cylinder-shaped..so it looked kinda like a giant white chalk! had to cut a 2.3 cm cube from one end of it and on one corner of the 2.3 cm cube, cut a 1 cm cube..this i like! so fun! just use the scalpel to carve carve carve..maybe i should be some sort of sculptor next time..or maybe i was a sculptor in my past life!

third question: they gave you two straight wires and you had to twist it into a specific shape as drawn on this piece of paper..thought it would be easy but nah..the wires so thick so i had to use alot of strength!

all in all..they gave you 3 hours..but after the one and a half hour mark..the guys started handing up their work and leaving..what's with them man? did i tell you that the girls to guys ratio is like 10:1 but timonthy said it was more like 3:1..dunno lar..saw so many girls! think i was the fastest girl to hand up my work as timonthy was waiting for me so paisae lar..anyway i was done too..hope that it was difficult for everyone else..stupid man..i spent 1 hour plus on the tooth model and it turned out like shit..if i was the marker..i'd have thought that the person spent a mere 5 mins on it only..but it was the best i could do and that's what mattered lar..

went to visit kelly and irene at TM and CS after that..but kelly ko was too busy! so sad..anywae peeps! the new mango catalogue is out! go get it!

dropped by spotlight before returning home to get some stuff to make this thingy for someone..but shan't reveal it yet..haa..suspense..

have a feeling i'm mad..kinda like a jekyll and hyde thingy..i'm so happy in the day and evening but after 11 pm..i will start feeling moody and depressed..sigh..anyway..lotsa tv shows today..esp. desperate housewives!! woohoo!
yep..the day is here..the day of the test! scary..i really hope that my hands would not get sweaty or tremble..i remember it trembling quite badly during the chem pract at a levels..haa..well..just woke up..yep..i can be such a pig..well..can't write a longer entry or i'd be late..i must remember to wear my contacts or i'll be blind as a watever..though it's only a hundred plus degrees..i have ultra high astimatism (shang guang yeah)..so if i do not see you on the streeets..it's not 'cause i'm dao but 'cause u appear like some hazy outline to me..yep..kay..i take ages to bathe..so i better go now..i'll update if i'm free tonight..wish me luck!!
tmrw i'll be having my manual dexterity test..this test that will see to whether i get into dentistry..i really wanna do well..but i do not even know what kinda test it is...and while i was ironing my clothes just now..i burned my last finger..and it hurts! damn it..hope it doesn't affect anything that happens in the test tmrw..

what really irks me is that i'm starting to think that a couple can never be friends after they break up..why is it so difficult? i really don't understand..and it's damn irritating!!! argh! i know it's going to be a long and miserable night..while you people will be sleeping tightly..i'll be a ball of mess..wth...

didn't manage to fulfill my wish ydae..but got to talk to puaysian online..felt unbelievably happy after that..took a few photos and made a few more earrings while pei-ing my sis while she did her hw..and we fell aslp at 2.30 am! it's been a long time since i slpt that late..

woke up at close to 1 pm today..haa..piggy..so far only had lunch..but it's going to be a normal boring sunday..yep..but somehow i suddenly think that boring is good..u might not be happy with it but you would not be ultra sad or devastated over anything..so no wishes for me now to make my life more exciting..

yeah..as my title says..i find this quote very stupid..if you love someone..let him/her go...

have been thinking 'bout it the whole day..bleah! if you love someone, how could you let the person go? unless you are some very selfless person or the person does not have feelings for you anymore..if you're the former..shame on you! why should you let something you treasure so much slip from your grasp..you ain't selfless no more..you are stupid! if you're the latter..shouldn't you feel angry at all? you should feel like slapping or stabbing the person..no that's not torturous enough..you should go disfigure the person!

sigh sigh..what a stupid quote and yet it's used ALL the time..please banish this quote please! banish it from the sight of this earth!! away with you!

so much for my thoughts..anyway..my sis' friends want to buy my earrings..and i have gone about quoting prices for her..anyone else interested? they're really gorgeous!

bought a new pair of jeans today..not very excited because i'm not really a jean-sy person..prefer skirts..so i'm going to grab more at the next mango sale!

checked out my dream phone too..it looked kinda big lae..but still interested..but the current price has risen to a mighty 598 bucks..and my agent hasn't banked in the money i earned from my previous job..so slow..i want my bank account to look like it has plenty of money lae...who doesn't anyway..-_-

and depressingly..my wish has not come true..why oh why?

had a really difficult time getting to sleep last night..shan't elaborate on it! anw..i woke up this morning with the sun shining brightly on my back..(haa..doesn't it sounds so cliche..bah!) have no idea why i'll feel so much happier with sunshine around me..i'm really a wreck at night..

anyway..i was going through the newspapers and caught sight of my dream phone yet again! it's the new nokia 3230!! shld i get or shld i not get it? it's SO beyewtiful! aiyo..i want it! grr...i can get it at 398 bucks if i upgrade my line to classic(i'm using pod 18 now)..but classic has so little sms...zzz...anw..i'm working now and earning my own money rite? i shld get it!!! go check out the features online-http://www.nokia.com/nokia/0,,65362,00.html! oh my oh my...oh man..i can't stop gushing...

saturdays may be interesting to some but it's not my fav day..i do nothing but stay at home and do house chores..yes..boring! i have 2 weeks of unironed clothes and bedsheets to change! sigh..haven't met any of my friends for more than a week le..it's bad..

anw..today's program may be going to the simmmons(mattress brand) warehouse sale..my mummy's not happy that all mattaresses are going at 70% off..so she's gonna check the prices out..to thoes who have no idea what i'm ranting about..BOO TO YOU!!! you haven't been reading my blog...

and then i wanna go check my bank account balance to see whether my pay from last month has gone in..noe i'm supposed to save money..but i want my phone!!

and last of all..my wish in return for spending a saturday this boring would be to have someone msging me a positive msg! yeah..my wants are so little...



guess what?! everyone says 'what?' i'll tell u..okie..i'm going bonkers..after work today i feel aslp on the bus and didn't wake up even at the interchange..but this kind malay man woke me up..so nice of him noe..but i can't believe I DID NOT WAKE UP! haiz..i'm too tired!! but i just can't get to sleep at night! sigh......

there's this doggy at my workplace..it's sort of a company's dog and it looks like SCOOBY-DOO..aww..so cute!!! grubigrubigoo! haa..wth! but it's kinda freaky..i love dogs..but this god kinda humongous and when u walk pass it, it'll stare at you continuously..but i so want to pat it!

haa..my sis just came to me to tell me 'bout her everpresent pimple..and it can grow and shrink! wow! so interesting..it's like a live thingy on her face..haha..it's situated below her lower lip right in the middle! haa! oh man..better not laugh..later karma comes back to haunt me..

there's this funeral at the block opposite mine lae..which makes me think of this superstition that my mother told me when i was young..she said that when you look at a funeral or the coffin..you are bound to cry some time after that..and i find that it's really true lae..why it happens i also don't knnow..

i have another freakier superstition..u know sometimes when you're just sitting down stoning or when you're peeing..you'll suddenly shudder w/o any reason..they say it's because some sort of apparition has just gone pass you..but why when you're peeing, i've no idea..maybe the smell attracts.....

so happy that it's friday!! the weekend is here to let me sleep!! tired!!! anyway carmen asked me whether i'm interested in yoga at amore eastpoint and I AM! i'm going to take on a new activity to forget all my depressing stuff and move on in life! i wish i could..not that easy..we're going to form an exercise group! hiring ppl now..interested pls join! the more the better..because more ppl will motivate me to go for every lesson..

walked three bus stops (aeh! i walked to and fro so it's 6 stops) during lunch just to get cheesecake and grass jelly..better be worth it man..

hmmm..want me not to think? okie..i'll not think....i'm going to try my best..rahrah..but i know there will always be a place in my heart for you..sigh..okie..do not think..





was super super busy at work...came home and slpt on my bed straightaway..but tired also good..don't have to think about anything else..

spent almost the whole day staple'ing stuff..in case u look down on it..it can make time pass very fast..spent the whole afternoon staple'ing and 4 hours passed just like that..oKay..maybe i staple slow lo..

haiz..after tues..i keep thinking of puaysian..suddenly only happy and good thoughts remained of him..before that..to keep myself from being depressed, i'll think of all the sad thoughts (not say there's many)..wonder whether he wants me back not.........

many thnks to cuicui..was feeling glum and gloomy the whole night long slumpng there in front of the tv when she called (wish it was someone else who called)! cheered me up right away with her cheerful voice! she turned my night from being depressing to withstandable..cuicui ah..you are getting lame and crappy woa! but that's alright..all the more fun it will be to talk to you next time! (feels abit big bad wolf to me) so sorry did not reply ur msg..was feeling depressed lar..

anyway, my job today was very scary! got to answer and transfer calls..why does the whole world like to call at the same time..while leaving me to stare at the 3 fishes in front of me the rest of the slacking day..

i miss puaysian!! :(

sigh...wake up only think of puaysian..free during work? think of him lor..whole day think of him lor..but what to do? don't dare to msg him.......

lucky work super tiring..come home sleep..don't have to think about anything...guess just fall asleep tonight too..tired..................

how can such a good day turn into a horrible one? how!!! guess that's because it's someone who mean alot to me who did it...sigh..i'm deeply regretful..sorry..

okie..couldn't stand being at home anymore..so went out shopping alone..boohoo..wish all my friends do not have to work and can accompany me..but it was not to be..

wha..so dramatic..haa..so i decided to trugged out shopping alone..it was surprisingly fun! no one to care about..just me myself and i! someone at orchard mrt approached me to join some model agency lae(haa..couldn't help not writing it down here :D )..saying that they're looking for new faces..hoho! i had the pleasure of turning her down..felt so gd for awhile..things like this make my day!

went to topshop first as i went to their webbie to check their clothings and found very nice stuff! so went there and i found more fabulous stuff!! haa..but when i was trying them on in the fitting room..they all had humongous holes in the back (was thinking why so cooling)!! think that's the trend now..i wanted to buy lae..but not so brave yet..maybe when i'm back with my friends or sis..so i settled for this normal pink tee..it's called a birdie tattoo tee! so kewl rite?

it was then on to zara but nothing there lae so last stop! mango at taka..but they didn't have the dark brown 25 bucks skirt in my size..so i tried three other pieces of clothing that i normally wouldn't try..quite nice lae!! but not today....

then the orchard library beckoned me to borrow their mags and i obeyed..haa! mad me..found 4 mags and 3 books! wha..tink i looked like some nerd with all the books..i already tried to stuff two books into my bag le..as i walked back to the mrt station (must visualise the route from taka to orchard mrt), i decided to try my luck at wisma's mango..the brown skirt wasn't even on display! tried on another light brown one..then i saw my skirt in another colour-pink! nice lae..but the dark brown one nicer..decided to ask the salesgal and she had the brown skirt in my size!! woohoo! snapped it up! when i was paying at the cashier..the women offered me a bigger bag for all my mags and books! wha..can't stand it..why everyone so nice to me?

haiz..i just received an e-mail from puaysian..have no mood to write anymore le..

it was as if my body knew that i had to wake up early tmrw..it made me wake up at 6 plus then 7 plus and then at 10 plus when i couldn't go back to sleep anymore..agnes waking up by herself at 10 plus?! wow! that's a miracle!! forgive me..think i'm going mad after so many days away from civilisation..i'm going to trugged out on my own today!

hmm..should i really? does anyone goes out shopping alone? but i'm so bored! the games at orisinal.com doesn't keep me occupied anymore! bleah!

i've got tons of things i wanna buy..that's it! i'm going out! wish me luck!

hey peeps..when you're really bored out of your head..feel like screaming and tearing your hair out..i have the perfect solution for you!

go orisinal.com and play the game on the top row..fifth one! you get to circle cute, birdie-fly like stuff that moves around on your screen..haa..cure to your boredom instantly!

i was having fun playing around with the cute little stuff when my sis came into the room and wanted to play it too..haa!!!!! so funny..watching her play is hilarious man! haa..she can't complete her circles..reminded me of some spastic child..haha...on my..i can't stop laughing...

rolling off my chair.....*thud*

i can foresee...that today is going to be a BORING day! nobody has asked me out..my sis has choir in school until 6..there is no one to entertain me..everyone is either working or studying!! whaaaaaa!

and i have to pack the house.....-_-

anyway..i want to sell the earrings i made! they are so fabulous..you'd fall in love with them! but i have no avenue of selling them..my friend has a website that sells earrings too..and i'm going to help her promote it..everyone please go to www.maefarm.com!

daa...nothing to write about le..seeya!

went to the doctor's ydae..and guess wat!! he took a look at my rashes and proclaimed that i have to take a blood test to check for dengue..just as i thought i was just going to get a prick on my finger..it was not to be!!! argh!! went to this malay nurse as she looked competent..my foot! she stuck the needle into my right hand..to her dismay..and of course mine..no blood flowed out! and then she proceeded to press my skin around the inserted needle and then asked me..pain not har? my gosh! duh! she then told me..'your vein too thin lar..' oh..so now it's my fault that she can't get any blood out..

sigh..since no blood from my right hand..got to try my left hand..and this time..it was done in a jiffy..yep! that proves it..it's not me..it's her! i meekly told her..'i always ues this arm to draw blood'..then she arrogantly replied, 'you should have told me mar!' pui! my mother nicknames her the vampire! whahaha...

took the medicine the doctor gave..no dengue..and fell asleep almost immediately..yeah..tat strong! well..against my wishes..i decided to make a trip to town with my sis and ma..well..i went partly because my mother wouldn't stop nagging and i asked puaysian earlier online whether i should go..and he said it would be better for me to go..well..at least my father fetched us to bugis..i absolutely CANNOT stand sweating..it hurts..because this ultra prickly sensation would appear on my back..

well..at bugis..my sis and ma collected their brand-new specs..quite nice noe..my sis one was black-rimmed matt..and when u put it on..u ooze intellectuality..my ma's one was a half-frammed, gold rimmed..made her look normal..but kinda nice lar..like people her age will covet it when they see it..haa..saw this pair of kickers slippers..very nice!! but it's only coming out in the nxt 2 weeks..shall see how it looks like soon..

ate the chocolate eclairs at beard papa..yummy! and off to robinsons city hall we go! cuz my ma wanted to buy a new matteress..hee! but i wouldn't want her old one..mine is fine and nice the way it is..and it has my scent le..hee!

we jumped from brand to brand..with all the salepeople yakking away..trying their best to attract us to their wares..kinda hilarious watching them..but guess it's a job for them after all..difficult to earn money in this time and day..my mother ended up buying this simmons bed!! yay! it seems quite comfortable..but kinda hard too..good for the older person's back bah!

walked into mango and discovered a bargain buy!! a brown nice (erm..or a nice brown) skirt at a low $25..oh man! the last peice was taken away by this woman after she saw me fingering it..i'm going to hunt it down and make it mine!!!

had a good chat with puaysian on the phone..still kinda awkward in some ways but i can see we're talking more like the past..yay! fell aslp happily..

only to be woken up by sister at 11 am this morning..-_-
my ma called to ask us to help her carry groceries home as she bought stuff that were too heavy for her to lug home..haa..yep..went to help her carry the stuff and boy..it was SUPER DUPER heavy man!

had a nice lunch of buttery bread and bacon! yum!!
(sigh..will i be expanding sideways? i finished all the butter......)

the whole of yesterday passed by in a blur..woke up late to meet serena but she woke up late too..haa..so no prob there..it was fun at first meeting her because we had not meet for ages..we were showing each other pics of our jc frens and stuff..she cheated me noe..brought a few pics only..I brought quite a lot noe..and we were yakking and yakking until the train sound system announced ‘Cityhall!’ when we were supposed to alight at bugis..aiyo..dunnoe how all these stuff can happen

we met carmen at bugis mrt ..spent a few minutes deciding wat to eat as carmen couldn’t understand the meaning of choosing between yoshi and mos..and she kept saying everything except yoshi and mos..

goes like this..

‘carmen..u choose..yoshi or mos?’

‘food court?’

‘no!’

‘kfc?’

‘no!’

yep..and it goes on..she chose everything under the blue blue skies except yoshi or mos! hilarious I tell u!

and so it was decided that we ate lunch at mos in the end after a grueling decision..then serena asked me to get mayo when she was the one who wanted to eat it (actually I also wanted to dip my fries into it..*evil laughter* )..in the end..we settled on the childish scissors paper stone and I won! haa!

went to take neoprint after lunch..sigh..it’s been a long time since I did stuff like that..but the machine made us look like Barbie dolls with those heavily make-up eyes..as if we needed that..haa..but I shan’t elaborate on the fact that we had to use a flower to cover someone’s ‘ahem‘! let u peeps guess again..

did I mention that both serena and carmen are very jian ppl? they went to the face shop on the pretense that they wanted to try on new nail colours when in fact they wanted to use the shop’s nail polish remover to remove their partially existing nail polish..( when I mention partially existing, it’s like serena is too stressed or something that she scraps the polish off from her fingers)..aiyo!

carmen then left me with serena because she had to go for her advanced theory test..then it became weird..maybe because we didn’t talk for such a long time that the vibe wasn’t there anymore..because we were just talking ‘bout superficial stuff..plus the fact that she says that either I shrunk or she grew taller..oh man! I must have shrunk then…

went to orchard then..sigh sigh..nothing to talk about..then went to billy bombers at heeren because serena wanted to introduce me to the cookies and cream shake there as it’s simply delicious! but as things happen..it wasn’t available..so we decided to redeem this free drink on a card that she has..and as things happen..the card has already expired..oh how damn! we decided to settle for a root beer shake..but wonders of all wonders! the last root beer float has just been served!

we were both so pissed..then we decided to order Tiger Beer!! haa..we ordered cheese fries too..made me feel like some ah pek sitting at the coffee shop shaking legs..when it came..the waiter gave her more beer than me..excuse me! is it because she’s prettier or something! the cheese fries were okie lor..cheesy..but 2 persons cannot finish it..very big serving lae!

still nothing much to talk about lae..serena suggested watching a movie..nah..no mood for a movie that day..so we settled for pool! went to lucky plaza..where we couldn't cheat the guy at the counter to offer us the student rate..but he just gave it to us in the end..so nice! my pool skills were shocking me ydae man..i meant that it was shockingly good! if only puaysian was there..he would be so proud of me..yeah..he's the one who taught me to play..never in my life could i hit the black ball in..but i did so twice ydae! so proud of myself..when i was there i caught glimspe of this picture hung on the wall..it was titled 'boulevard of broken dreams'..oh man..i so love this kinda sadist stuff..so wanted to bring it home! btw..i especially love sadist rock music..ahhhhh!! ( it's supposed to be a kinda shout lar..looked more like a pleasurable moan..haa! )

left the pool place after an hour and made our way to far east..when serena informed me that xie shaoguang is gay..he was supposedly seen with qi yuwu at a gay bar..oh my..how could qi yuwu be gay?! but gays are supposed to be better-looking than straight guys right? oh what a pity!

nothing at far east to spend my money on..what is it with the clothes that are selling now? none of them appeal to me..oh wow..but that is great..i can go shopping without fearing that i would spend all my money..but it's kinda boring too..bleah.....

walked to both mango stores in wisma and taka to find this black tube that i saw in their catalogue..sigh! it looked so nice on the model but it looked quite horrifying hanging there on the shelves!

trugged on to delifrance where i got tempted by serena to eat their meal..sigh..i just ate half a fishcake lae..why do i always get tempted by her to eat stuff!! it was the same back in sec sch..it's alright if she grows fat with me but no..she has to remain a miniscule 40 kg person even after gorging down so much food..(oops! am i allowed to reveal one's weight here? )..in the midst of eating..she got a phone call and she just didn't stop talking..poor me...left there alone with my chicken mayo crossiant..fortunately..carmen came to meet me there..with andrea joining not long after..

and then..it was time to go clubbing! said bye to serena at orchard mrt station..and went to chinablack..had to queue for a short amount of time where carmen received a contract via her hp..weird i tell u..the things people use technology to do..when we reached the security check area..the woman standing there told us we were not allowed in wearing slippers..andrea was wearing heels though..but she said she would make an exception for us this time..funny how the same things keep happening to me..it was ladies' night so we had free flow of housepours..heard that some men dress up as gals to get free drinks..are they really that desperate?! i wanna shout it out to the whole world that the music at chinablack sucks!!!!!!!!!

after carmen downed 3 cups of alcohol..we decided it was time to move on to zouk..hate the things alcohol does to me..makes me red as a beret! sigh sigh..guess it's because i'm fair..and yeah..we hopped onto a cab and off to zouk we go..we went straight to the area where retro music was playing..nah..not my type of music..but carmen loved it there! it was so totally her kind of music..she should be born back in the eighties! she enjoyed herself so much..have no idea whether she saw me and andrea sulking..ahh..but it was different when we went to phuture..the music rawks rawks rawks!! we got another drink in there, ribena vodka, had to pay this time but it was one for one..so we had two glasses of the stuff..if u like R&B..pls go to phuture..on the other hand..it was too crowded in there..we decided to go back to the mambo area..had to squeeze throught the crowd when i felt this guy putting his hand around my waist..pui! i turned around to glare at him..to see him giving this helpless look that said i'm just trying to help you get out..oh! so helpful..yar right!

back to carmen's territory..there was more ppl in the area by then..so the atmosphere was more hyped..the excitment was fuelled by this blowing thing that blew out cold cold air with a blast..so fun!! there were these few guys on the platform who knew all the moves to the songs..guess they frequent the place very often..but i felt kinda stupid doing the moves lae..felt clumsy clumsy! but back there..carmen had a smile pasted on to her face! back in phuture where the music rawks..we had no space to really enjoy ourselves..but in here..the music is kinda BOring but at least there were breathing space..

after some time..we HAD to go back to phuture..squeezed ourselves into this tiny space where it was quite comfortable for awhile until people started to elbow my head and this indian guy started gyrating his hips to the music..hitting me with each round..idiot! poor carmen..she had a frown on her face when we were there..have a feeling she didn't even know that she was frowning..poor thingy..we decided to go back to the mambo area at 1.50 am..satisfy carmen lor..andrea got picked up by a guy!! he followed her all the way from phuture when we left but she rejected him..awww..and then it was time to head back to carmen's house..

spent the night sleeping on a sofa kinda thingy..have no idea what it's called but i woke up with a frustratingly itchy back..thought it was because i didn't bathe the night before but no..i had to be allergic to alcohol or somthing..have a rash all over my hands and upper body..have no idea why i'm always plagued by itchy stuff!!!!! irritating! this rash left me with prickly sensations if i do not scratch it when it itches..oh..i have a clever rash that makes me HAVE to scratch it..

andrea's father picked us up in the morning but thnks to carmen tinking that her house was not near the sea..it took andrea's father..let's call him mr lim..ages to find us..could hear andrea's mounting frustration with each call from her father..tsk tsk..carmen ah..oh no! will carmen kill me if she reads this..erm..carmen..i want to tell u that you're such a great friend to have..u can be lame at times but you bring joy to us and thnks for letting us konk out in your house for the night! mr lim found us in the end..and we got into his car..wow..the car's music system is controlled by a remote and has this sort of sliding out section at the top where mr lim took out a pair of shades..how cool can a car be?

mr lim dropped me and carmen off at pasir ris mrt station where i took a bus back back home while carmen had to go off to work..erm..andrea have to work too..so i better not write too much on how gd it is to be able to spend the day sleeping..

reached home to find a letter from nus informing me that i've been shortlisted for Dentistry!! my dream come true...just half a year ago..i was wondering how i was going to get into dentistry with my kind of grades..my teacher estimated that i would get BBC for my a levels..now i just have one more hurdle before i can truly become a dentist in the future..my goal would be to not let young kids fear the tooth doctor! i wanna pass the manual dexterity test and interview with flying colours!!!

and then i went to sleep..reliving my piggish life yet again...


morning!!! huiping woke me up from my deep slumber..says NTU called her for interview..she applied for accounting..me too..how come didn’t call me! hrmp! but remembered at 8 plus got this stupid person call me but didn’t say anything when I picked up lae..oh man!

my life is good man..everyday got cheerful people to wake me up one..my job agent also called me..told me more ‘bout my job scope as a receptionist..wah..very chim lae! Must answer and transfer calls..must purchase stuff..must prepare brochures for sales..must do personnel admin (har? wat is that ah?)..must keep record of all out-going mail (haa..maybe can read them one)..must do correspondence for the directors..wah! chim chim!! oh..then maybe I can be like robin in The Apprentice..kewl! oh..but I not as pretty..

haa..I’m late for my date with serena ang..not yet bathe all that..supposed to meet her 12 plus and it’s 12 now..going Zouk tonight so more to tell u peeps..

later…
hmmm….today ah..practically rot at home the whole day..yep..juz sat there there decaying while the seconds ticked by..my sis didn’t go school due to unforeseen circumstances that happened the night before so it wasn’t very boring lar..had a being around for company..haa..say her until like that..she sure kill me when she sees this..

basically..I led the life of a pig ydae..I woke up around 11 plus in the morning..rot rot rot then went to take an afternoon nap until 6 plus..hmm..still afternoon right? My mother was angry with me and my sis so she made us cook our own instant noodles dinner..so sad right? Haa..but I cooked this Korean instant mee and it’s quite yummy!!

the night passed with me HAND-washing my addidas jacket..something puaysian gave me :( ..and my tee..cuz dunnoe lae..when put into the washing machine got these teeney wheeny white balls emerging.. haiyo..must be my washing machine too powerful or something..sigh..I also repainted my nails black! for the second week running..figured that nxt week when I start work as a receptionist..I would no longer be able to do that le right? I could start a trend though…..

anyway..had quite a long sms conversation with cui cui..haa..can I call her that? sounds so cute right??? aiyo!! but she very nice lae..her msges makes me feel so happy and light all the time! and she got some intuition or something I think..didn’t tell her about me and puaysian but she has been messaging almost everyday since last fri! cui cui rawks!! Well..she has her own relationship problems too..but I hope she’d be able to solve it soon because she’s such a NICE person..does not deserve to be tied down by these unworthy problems..

and just I thought I was going to sleep early since I had no life..serena messaged me asking whether wanna talk on the phone not? Haa..remember she’s the person who i talked to until damn late but still had to go sch the next day one..paisae noe..I asked her to wait for ten mins then I called her twenty mins later instead..was trying to figure some way to connect the phone to my room cuz my mother hid the cordless phone :(

wah!! I tell u ah..her life damn interesting one lae..we talked until close to 3 but she still haven’t finished with her stuff! Like she say..we both very gd friends one lor..she just broke up with her boyfriend too..wah..but her this boyfriend..okie ex..very tall lae..a shocking 1.87m!!!!! Siao..can he tell me what he eats one not ah?

then my father came out to watch tv..sigh..got to hang up and pretend to sleep..not say very difficult for me..but he saw the phone lines going to my room lae..gasp!! Last night got soccer mae? haiya!

but I’m meeting serena tmrw..she can continue telling me her stuff..haa..so interesting..like someone reading storybook to me..somemore very funny one!

called puaysian before sleeping..he's still awake at 3 plus lae! He sounds distracted again lae..researching ‘bout some playstation stuff..I hate the person who invented all these crap for guys man..nothing better to do ah?
well..at least I woke up later this morning..this morning I woke up at 9 plus..this is very early for me noe..I’m usually one big fat pig..last night when I was calling puaysian..I mentioned that he seemed normal after asking him how he felt..he messaged telling me that of course he does not feel normal..and that he also needs time to get over it..sigh..I wonder whether he’s unhappy that I thought that he’s feeling normal or that he’s also sad and trying to show me that..still miss him when I’ve nothing to do..especially at night..

my day was spent talking to my friend..ching..online..because her last day of work was also on Friday..she’s at home like me..talked to her for an hour or two..glad to have her for company as it helped time to pass..guess I’ll be seeing more of her in this week..she said she’ll be starting her exercise routine..haa..unlike lazy, unfit me..brr…I wanna exercise noe..but the will power is not in me..will someone drag me out?

my agent then called me later in the day to tell me that my new job will be starting next wed..as a receptionist..whahaha..me as a receptionist? but guess time will pass faster if I learn something new..

went to meet brian in the evening at TM..it may seem strange that i'm meeting him..considering that i didn't think too highly of him in the past..when he was dating my then close friend, serena, i have no idea why i thought of him as a bad person and disliked him..but after these past year..after msging and getting to know him better..he's actually a very nice person..very good to his friends and humble.. he was wearing his navy uni..looked very smart woa..we walked a few rounds before both of us decided to settle for yoshi..then basically sat there talking until 9 plus..reminisced about the past when we were still young innocent kids, spending fun-filled nights at chalets or pasir ris park..the water-fights..haiz..time really passed fast..I would like for these memories to be relived..just as he wished too..he being a gentlemen walked me home..while telling me about the times when he walked from orchard to his home in bedok..woah! that was really astounding man..well..it was fun remembering all the happy memories..but kinda bittersweet in a way..

watched desperate housewives after coming home..it’s my highlight of the week..I love teri hatcher in it..just so hilarious..

well..I usually hate the nights..but I’m also kinda looking forward to it as it’s the time when I can call puaysian..although it’s not the same as in the past..I still wanna talk to him at least once a day..
mornings are starting to scare me..each morning I’d wake up with a start at 8 plus..only to have my heart beating hard..it usually takes time for my heart beat to go back to normal before I can finally fall asleep again..have been dreaming of puaysian for the last two nights..considering how I can start dreaming within falling asleep for 5 mins..yes..I can start dreaming even when I doze off during lectures..

i had 2 dreams of him last night..the first was one where he asked me to resume our relationship..I was of course happy because I’ve been missing him..but I also started thinking of how I was going to let all my friends who have already known we’ve break up know of this new installment..the second one was when I was in a library and he was there too..for some unknown reason..I wanted to buy the 6 installments of the Narnia series..I took them down and we sat on the library floor with me leaning on him..after some time..he suddenly said that we shouldn’t be doing this as we’ve already broken up..well..guess it was a gd dream as we were like before only that we were now only friends..then as we walked out of the library..I was listening to this really fast-paced song and strangely..he could hear it too and started dancing..it was all the suave and cool moves man..totally konked out and weird dream!

it was only when I woke up that reality hit back and I’m still single and not communicating much with him..I called last night actually..after feeling lonely..the night does this to me..since sec 3..I’ve been yakking to someone on the phone..for the whole of sec 3..it was serena..we had loads to talk ‘bout noe..even though we sat together in class..we could talk until 5 am in the morning..the next day in sch..we used the first 2 periods which were bio to rest..or sleep in other words..then it was puaysian for the next 3 years..we would msg each other everyday unless we quarreled or either one of us were not in the Singapore..calling each other every night almost became a routine..so these past 2 nights were quite a torture to me..

i called him yesterday night to find out that he cut his head botak..he told me earlier on in our relationship that he would cut off all his hair after his first break-up..but I nonetheless surprised..he has never changed his hairstyle all these years..and to cut his hair all off came as a huge humongous shock..wondered how he looks like now..but I called him when he was playing game so he seemed quite distracted..that made me quite sad after I hung up..but he looked for me on MSN..but coincidentally or unfortunately..my mother was using the internet..

however, my mother only found out that he was looking for me when my sister went to look at what my mother was doing on the internet..she told him that it was my mother and said goodnight..as I started crying after hanging up the phone..my dear sis was there to talk to me and distract me from all the evil and sorrowful thoughts..my mother came into our room and I pretended to be asleep..she said that there was something wrong with me noe..and asked my sis why I closed down the MSN window where puaysian typed..haiz..wonder what my mother and sis are thinking of me..but I’m really grateful for all my friends and family that are there for me now..

speaking of friends..I was just telling carmen that I would get drunk and drown all my sorrows on wed..and she started lecturing me that she would be reluctant to bring me go clubbing if I were to forget my sorrows and getting drunk in alcohol..haa..I have no idea whether to laugh or cry when I read that msg..am I such a non-sensible person to her? I was just thinking that it would be easier to break the news to her and andrea after I get a little tipsy..but she’s just being a caring friend afterall..brian was also there for me..said I could msg him if i couldn’t sleep..feel so touched by all my friends’ concern..

i messaged puaysian before I slept asking him whether I could still call him at night when I needed someone..I woke up this morning to check my phone which I was charging to get a real pleasant and warm feeling..he replied saying sure and asked why I was still awake even though it was late last night when I msg..he’s really a good friend to have..hope all the sadness and sorrow would disappear soon and we’d be comfortable around each other as good friends..
today was a long long day..time passed oh so slowly..sigh..I woke up with a start this morning at 8 am and couldn’t get back to sleep after reading a message from puaysian..read a book until I felt drowsy enough to sleep..have a feeling that I would be moping around for a much longer time..

am feeling very sad inside but I have no idea how come I’d act so happy when I’m talking to someone..my afternoon was spent at TM shopping..saw Jacelyn Tay..she’s stunning man..as well as real tall..my only happy moment of the day was when I found this polo tee at Espirit..but didn’t buy it in the end as it cost $59 and I don’t like wearing polo tees normally..but it was really nice..hope that it will still be there the next time Espirit has a sale..

when I looked around during the time at TM, I saw no one who attracted me..starting to think that all guys are disgusting and unattractive..even those who had a girl on their arms looked dull..is this because I’m feeling down or because I think that he is better than all the other guys…..

the night is passing so slowly!! oh man! I can’t stand it.. why do break-ups have to be so difficult? although we ended our relationship mutually..my heart still feels broken..

i miss him..

today’s entry will be a tribute to my boyfriend of 3 years plus..my pillar of strength for the past few years..I’m glad we managed to end it on a gd note..it was as if he has managed to put down a huge load and I was able to confront my greatest fear and do the right thing..we have gone through many obstacles and shared many happy moments..of course there were sad moments as well..

many friends have expressed surprise at how long we managed to stay together..well..I tink it’s because we both think of others more than ourselves..but in this relationship..I tink I was the more selfish one..I often thought of myself because this is the only relationship where I could stop thinking of others..to those who asked me how we managed to be a couple for so long..I can now tell u how..it’s because he didn’t want to hurt me by ending it while I tried to be as complying as possible..

thought that we would be together for the rest of our lives..but this is a fine example of how u cannot foretell the future..what went wrong was that our relationship has fizzled out..there was no more feelings left in it..but it’s still heartbreaking to be without you..

to puaysian: thank you for going through the past 3 years with me..for “ren-ing” me even though I’m one stubborn pig..u’ve been a really gd friend and confidant to me..my bestest friend ever..I truly hope that all the memories you will have of us are happy ones..forget all the unhappy ones kay? I’ll miss holding ur hand and just leaning against you and talking my heart out..but we’re both happy now. even though our relationship has ended..I’ve earned a great friend..u’ve really grown through these past years and I wish you all the best in your future..and there will be a place in my heart for you always..goodbye sweetie and harloe my friend..

today was quite special for me..the second last day of work at IMRE..spent the morning putting the laminated labels I MADE in the chemical store..well..at least i'll be leaving a proud piece of work behind..a few friends i kinda got to know in the past month treated me to a farewell lunch..although we're not really close..i wanna thank them for putting in the effort and tinking of me! kudos to zhiying meizhi vincent weiwei xiaoyi and shawn(is that how to spell it? it's a gal's name!)..

after lunch..I thot it was gg to be a boring and sleepy afternoon because of the heavy meal I had but veron asked to go down to the workshop to do some stuff for her..I hung around and got to noe uncle piao..this 50 ++ year old man in my department..so sad that I only got to know him on the second last day of work..he’s one really cute guy! love toking to him!! If I weren’t leaving..I’d go down to the workshop to chat with him everyday..well..he loves chocolates so I’ll give him a box tmrw!!

but the person I’d miss the most there would be the person I tok to the least this past month..it’s this really kewl guy called Ian..he has this bad boy look and he rides a really stunning scrambler bike..*pitter patter*..but he has this sensitive side of him that really is his attractiveness..overall he’s just this s--- guy! haa..but guess wat..he already has a baby daughter..aww…

went for dinner at yes..cine again with Irene min and ching..ate at yuki yaki..it was fun lar..we took 10 eggs..although I didn’t touch the 7 that went into the soup..it was all gone! must be tat irene! haa! The other 3 went into making this prawn omelate..which wasn’t as easy as it seems..but it was yummylicious!! Then we could make ice cream on this cold metal plate..but the 3 of them of rushing to catch a movie and we had a mere 15 mins! Everyone was like, ‘quick quick! Pour pour!! Eat eat!!!’ haa..damn fun I tell u!! but DO NOT go near the champagne flavour..it sucks man!

They caught their movie 10 mins late while I walked to the 7-11 at centrepoint to get presents for my workplace peeps..and damn it! I dropped most of the ferrero roche boxes..heard one crack but I quickly picked it up and put back..haa! Warn u le ah..don’t buy ferrero roche from tat place!

Just quarreled with my ma..sigh..it’s getting difficult to get along with her nowadays noe..hope it’s just some passing phase..alright..need to make my midnight call to ps le to cheer me up..nitey…
new life? yes yes..my brand new life officially started on tuesday when Veron, my supervisor came to me and said: 'Your contract will be brought forward to this friday.' OMG!! that actually means that i am jobless after friday! however, the screws in my head were not working in their full capacity at that time..it was 9 am..i woke up at 6.30 okie...yawnz! brought forward?? huh? that sounded good to me actually..it was until when she left me in my cubicle that it hit me! no more job...that ended my one month of waking up at 6.30s looking all bleary-eyed and travelling all the way from my snug bed in tampines to IMRE in NUS.

initially i was quite angry..i worked hard this past month noe..why let me go? and no one offends me! so let u in on my little sin..i decided to smuggle office stationary home..i managed to get away with 3 cardholders, 1 black marker pen, one correction fluid and 1 box of staplets..haa! but the whole time i was doing it..i felt so sneaky..aiyo..guilty!!

anyway..i met my section pals ydae..felt gd around them cuz i can act myself..not like at work..where i'm quiet..aww..that is so not me! but i have no idea why i can't behave like my own fabulous self! haa..we went to catch a movie at cine..swing gals..some movie bout band..it was okie lar..quite funny at parts! after the movie..i was looking forward to shopping!! but all the shops were closed or closing..don't u just hate it when u hear all the shop shutters closing..haiz!

oh yar..haven't gone clubbing since i turned 18 so far..little innocent me! so andrea was saying that we should at least go once before we enter uni..so we decided to go zouk on mambo nights one wed with carmen!! well..hope it will happen and be a blast!

had a vegetarian lunch with my department today on the boss..it was yummilicious!! then the gals in my department went to a korean 'supermarket' to get snacks!! damn delicious i tell u..shld go..it's beside sim lim square in bugis..ended up lugging this big red plastic bag bursting at the seams home on the mrt...muz have looked so geekish! omg! tink nobody saw me lyk tat lar..

anywae..i sent this juicy letter to ps for our plans after his exams but he was not comfortable with my plans so guess we'll do something else..and for those who wanna noe wat plans..i'm not telling!!! only ps knows..you can ask him..haa! sound so ahem rite? up to ur imagination lor...

well..still pondering whether i should meet my classmates tmrw for yuki yaki..will see how big my eyebags are tmrw morning and decide..