The most courageous act is still to think for yourself. Aloud.

haven't had the chance to sit down and blog a really long entry in a long long time....

now's the perfect chance with my ca just over!

went over to ntu yesterday with andrea and huiping to.........celebrate cuicui's bdae!

it was a top-secret mission that cuicui didn't know of...look at all the planning! we had to write our timetable then we had to fit cuicui's in ours! thnks to shijia..she did alot! haa..




















at 2pm, i met andrea and huiping at kr..and hailed a cab to ntu..still remember huiping's voice ringing in my head...pioneer road north ah!

ntu's sch of biological science is so nice!! check this out manz..

















look at the circular ceiling structure! what's that word ah? erm..sui ah! but my photo-taking skills not bad right? see the sunlight casting shadows on the floor?





















we(andrea, huiping and i -- the nus ppl) were hanging around in the lobby while shijia and yuanling (she's someone who's from tjband so we all knew her..adding to that..she's in shijia's faculty and she's cuicui's hostel mate) went to look for cuicui so that we can hide and surprise her when she finished at consultation..in the end she surprised us!

we(andrea, huiping and i) were waiting for shijia's call when suddenly we heard..'aeh..what're u guys doing here?' oh well! cuicui looked surprised too! as u can make out..cuicui's the one with her hand over her mouth..gal in blue is huiping and andrea's sec sch friend..andrea is leaning against the wall and huiping is standing with her arms behind her back!




















surprised but HAPPY cuicui!




















see shijia and yuanling in the background? back after not finding cuicui cause she's with us in the first place!




















SUPER DELIGHTED cuicui posing for the cam..(we all have a photowhore inside us)..




















happy group gathering..poor me..taking pictures..not in the photo...




















SUPER yummy cake..really! bought by huiping..it's a chocolate cake..but it tasted really wicked!


























the cake where's supposed to be..with the bdae gal! i told her she looked maniacal holding the knife..but the after-effect of the photo was sweet! cause cuicui's sweet!! slurp




















happy bdae to ya! x4 whaha...




















group photo! i was just drooling and waiting abeit a little impatiently to eat the cake! whaha..oops!

















sidetracking - scandalous photo! aiya..on the other hand(pun totally not intended), it's not obvious that they're holding hands..




















for some reason which i cannot put into words, i just feel that the environment of ntu is totally different from nus..

a picture down their corridor..




















went back to kr to study for my anatomy test when the photowhore inside of me started taking control over myself and the camera!

warning - do not let your camera fall into my hands muahahahaha...

















obviously i took alot more pics than this..i just chose the nicer ones! whaha..


























anyway just another side-track! i've been to ntu more than once this year..the other time was when i bunked into carmen's place..

dear carmen showing us the way to ntu!




















she's staying in hall 6! i wrote bout going to her hostel before..so you should know what went on! u better know!




















speaking of carmen..do not ever fall into her trap of asking u pitifully to wake her up 'cause i'm so tired' because she won't wake up!





















i called her so many time and she did not answer..carmen u pig!

luckily there's her roommate yuanting!





















have another update later bout my hostel room!

anyway i discovered a gd piece of news from my friend..congratulations!

all the best to you and your fruit! there you go..discreet enough..

this is turning out to be a rather good one week back at sch!



after more food and tea..i'm wide awake..but i'm only close to halfway through...

-deleted-

i know i'm over-reacting....
studying and dieting does not go along well manz..

i'm officially calling off my diet!

yum..that last cookie tasted damn good..so did that bar of meiji chocolate...

*burp* more?
going to drop by to write an entry before i lose my brain..

anatomy test tmrw..heard from xinli that i need at least two days to finish studying..die!

but i wanna thank her for helping me look for my precious today..after searching high and low for it, it's still no where to be found..sigh! sorry ps.....

vigorous studying starts from NOW!

DO NOT DISTURB!
my diet officially starts from tmrw...

it's so tough! i finished all the cookies save for one..and i just gulped this mini snickers bar down..bleah!

but i did try so hard!

i ate ban mian today! healthy food then i ate half my plate of food for dinner...

what a gd start! (encouragement for myself)
yeah..even though i slpt at past 3am..i woke up early to meet andrea for breakfast but she was still aslp so in the end i left early to print notes and i was on time for lessons!

nvm that i didn't understand my lecturer's accent and fell aslp during the only lecture of the day..the day's still great!!

had my pract test today..it left my right hand with a permanent yellow stain that no amount of washing will get rid of...but it's a great day 'cause the test is over!!

went for archery today..and it was fun! we went shooting the circle targets at first..then someone came up with the idea of shooting cards..it was the size of the normal playing cards and i shot it four times in total! oh gosh! what happened to me today manz?

I LURVE ARCHERY!

today's archery was really fun 'cause we talked and joked with the seniors..went back to have dinner with my block..and i skipped agm..watching the wonderfully intriguing 9pm show int he lounge!

have to study later...anatomy test this thurs...wanna do well! unlike my last test........

very excited for tmrw..going to ntu to celebrate cuicui's bdae!
woke up early for breakfast but there was nothing left...OMG!

so i headed back and there standing at the door coercing me to eat them were the dreadful cookies!

sigh..i know i wasn't supposed to eat them this early...

from now on..i'm declaring a FIVE DAY diet!
sometimes i wonder what it'll be like without you..

can i do without you?

well...i've gone through it before...

it WAS terrible...

but i don't want to be on the giving end all the while...

i want to be pampered...

at least for awhile more...
It's been a while
Since I could hold my head up high
and it's been a while
Since I first saw you
It's been a while
since i could stand on my own two feet again
and it's been a while
since i could call you
But everything I can't remember as fucked up as it may seem
the consequences that I've rendered
I've stretched myself beyond my means

It's been a while
since i could say that i wasn't addicted and
It's been a while
Since I could say I love myself as well and
It's been a while
Since I've gone and fucked things up just like i always do
It's been a while
But all that shit seems to disappear when i'm with you
But everything I can't remember as fucked up as it may seem
the consequences that I've rendered
I've gone and fucked things up again

Why must i feel this way?
just make this go away
just one more peaceful day

Its been awhile
Since I could look at myself straight
and it's been awhile
since i said i'm sorry
It's been awhile
Since I've seen the way the candles light your face
It's been awhile
But I can still remember just the way you taste
But everything I can't remember as fucked up as it may seem
I know it's me i cannot blame this on my father
he did the best he could for me

It's been a while
Since I could hold my head up high
and it's been a while since i said i'm sorry
*read the previous entry first













just realise it's not really obvious that 40% of the cookie is chocolate chunks..

clear view! yummy! 












yes! as you can see..this is it! 40% chocolate chunk cookies! argh! get them out of my face...

but i already devoured 9 of them...

OH WELL!

i think it's andrea..she offered me a kitkat bar which i MANAGED to decline but i couldn't stand the temptation anymore when i got back to my room after america's nxt top model!!

ANDREA!!! and your ice cream soda is beckoning to me... 
i discovered this amazing thing in the national library last wed!

i didn't know how fun the national library can be manz!

let me re-anact the discovery to you guys...

it was a bright and sunny day but as the library's newly-installed air-cons were working just fine, sab and me felt fine! actually i think sab was a little cold. actually i forgot what we were doing before the incident took place so i shall skip that part and fast-forward to the action-packed part.

there we stood...at the sparkling, spanking-new lift lobby of the twelvth floor, facing the five lift doors. 'ting!', the lift arrived..we walked into it, aimlessly chatting about something..

the doors of the lift closed menacingly with a thud.

without any warning..the lift dropped.

so did my heart.

omg! i felt as if i just plunged all the way down manz..the lift was damn fast!

BUT IT WAS FUN!!!

sab and me walked out of the lift, swearing that we would go for another round later on in the day..

as we walked away..sabrina said, 'cheap thrill huh?'

go try it guys! there's lifts on both sides..take the lift nearest the window on the side with three lifts!
oh well!! i just found out that i don't have to go out so early after all!! argh..kinda irritated..

but...oh well!!

it was a misunderstanding and lack of communication...

OH WELL!!!

more time to study i guess....
just realised how little i spent so far this week...spent a total of $14...with $10 being my topping-up of ez-link! whaha!

but i'm gg out to get cuicui's present later..going to spend moolahs!

i know i'm posting lots of short posts..it's just that i've lotsa drifting thoughts....
staying at home by yourself is indeed boring but this beats going to school for lecture hands down!

i'd rather rot at home than feel guilty for sleeping during a lecture..don't know why i can't seem to stay awake...

oh well...going to study for an hour more before getting ready to go out!! whee!!!

did i mention i finished my cardio tutorial? (oh yeah i did..) haa...am so proud that i finished my tutorial one week in advance..touches forehead for signs of fever..oh well!
yay!! finished my cardiovascular tutorial!! damn proud of myself!

fos-sy! study hard man!
just when i was feeling useless and dumb...stuck with my stack of notes!

i went blog-surfing and felt damn good! thanks to carmen!

this is an excerpt from her blog...

FA was quite shiok. so long didnt ran le. but i managed to make it before 18. wahahaa. lol. running arnd the track brought back sweet memories of those days in sch where there'll be this little one w unlimited stamina chatting n running at the same time... den the gang of slackers who will come up w strategy to run the straight path n walk the curved... n the almighty ms choy who never fail to catch me walking.. agnes, my buddy runner back in tkgs, always ran w me n it was when i first broke my record running the ever fastest in my life. haha. well. it was jus a run. a very good one.

whaha..see! i'm useful...bleah...the good old days..when i was a diligent gal at pe...

i remember the times in tjc when we trained for 2.4km..i'd always find ways to walk..to skip rounds...bleah...

anyway! i finished one more chapter! haa...gg to finish one physiology tutorial before hitting the sacks..can feel my eyebags weighing my lids down though...
i'm wasting all my time on this website!

yeah...the kay-po side of me shining through...

check it out...www.awfulplasticsurgery.com....

it takes all your time up!

you've been warned....
yesh!! i finished with one chapter...have been trying to understand Solutions & Properties for physical pharm for the past two weeks..finally done! but still lotsa parts i don't understand and questions that i haven't done but don't have the answers 'cause i didn't go for lecture that day...

have to go borrow huilin's notes when sch reopens....
meeting sab for project tmrw..hope she understands why i want to do the project individually..basically it's 'cause i'm lazy and i don't wanna pull you into the deep dark hole of chasing datelines....

and a minor part of me don't wish to relive project work all over again..had lotsa fun during pw but that's enough experience...

just as i'm enjoying blissful moments with puaysian..you told me bout ur problems..

really hate the feeling..makes it feel as if you shouldn't even be involved in all these right?

take care man....
it's really terrible trying to study all over again! i hate uni studying...at least in jc..i'm forced to study because i had to do tutorials....

i'm a person who lacks motivation!!!

that's why i make use of datelines and exams to COERCE me to study....but there's no dateline this week...makes it tough to study...

yet i can't enjoy or i'll feel guilty!

i miss my 8 months of study-less days........
watching tons of tv when i'm at home and i came across this super hilarious advert!!!

omg! i just bursted (yes..i know there's no such word) out in laughter..so funny!!!

it's the panasonic fridge advertisement..the one with the vegetables jumping up and down and the loser cabbage hitting the roof of the fridge!

haa..there's even the crunching sound of the cabbage manz!

funny funny!!!!!
and yes...it's the start of mid-sem break..just as i was about the take off my socks and relax from the whirl and buzz of starting uni life..i realise that many people call this week THE STUDY WEEK!! oh gosh!

and yes..it's another round of jc life for me..abeit a little less 'teacher feeding you by the spoon and holding you by the hand'...sigh! chem sucks!

BUT i feel so good to be at home! it's just feels good being at home finally...have like three homes now! but i only like two of them........

anyway i had my own hall bash on thurs! one day after carmen's...damn tired noe....

it was held at gotham penthouse and the theme was bling bling..it was kinda kewl seeing everyone trying to wear and be hip-hop...

went with puaysian...kinda glad he went with me...actually very glad!

yea..anyway i'm allegic to alcohol...but cause i've been sipping so much the day before..and nothing went wrong...i decided to get myself a gin tonic..carmen said it tasted like pomelo..abit lar..but i like it! i declare it my fave alcoholic drink! whaha...as if i can drink much of it...

i only drank half while puaysian finished the other half of it along with his whiskey on the rocks...after an hour..i started getting those irritating rashes...bleah...fortunately it was only a minor case of it....

but the bash was fun manz!! the best bash i've been to! enjoyed myself alot..and puaysian digged the band so yeah..it's kewl!

i had so much expectation for the last week..was expecting a blast.....

do you have the feeling sometimes when you expect alot alot from some event or outing..but in the end time whizzes by and when it's over..you just feel damn disappointed? i experienced it many times already..this past week was ranked really high on my expectation list...but it just didn't reached my fun threshold potential..but i got this really warm fuzzy feeling in the middle of the week...on thurs morning!

but it's a secret! haa....just keep guessing guys.....

p.s. have fun trying to finish your mooncakes!! i lurve mooncakes!! but this year's mooncakes aren't that great.....
haven't update for oh so long! yeah..since like don't know when..

honestly, i've been dreading this week when it started on mon...but somehow huilin managed to infect me with her 'this is a good week' syndrome! and yeah! it's a gd week..

by tues..i was so hyped up bout the big one week break coming up and all my fun starting officially when lab ends on wed noon!

and yeah..it took ages for wed to come..but once it came, the days just managed to creep past me like nobody's business!

on wed night..i went to meet carmen and her friends..one of which was my fellow colleague at cpf in the past and one of which was my primary sch classmate..and another gal who i don't know but she's cool! so it was a good night! was with people who i was comfortable with..

did i mention that she's late?! i was already late and damn stressed that i was late but she was like even later! stupid woman!

went to her hallbash..it was called LUSH@COCOLATTE.

really nice name! and yeah..it took place at cocolatte....







































apparently..it's described as a cozy lil' place..whaha..hilarious! they're just trying to say it's small in a nice way...it's really punyish-ly tiny!

and they have weird rules..it's a two story circular building..we have to pay to use the lockers and we can play cards on the first floor but not the second! wth?! and the music is not that good..i only like the fact that they have uv lights everywhere..huiren's gin was glowing away like nobody's business..kewl! we played indian poker for awhile..got bored.....

so we walked over to zouk..boy was that place crowded! it was the last mambo before zouk closed for renovation so the place was super super super super super duper packed..yeah..you get the idea.......

we managed to squeeze in..we were linking arms so as not to lose each other..mambo is actually quite fun! i was quite turned-off by it in the beginning but i kinda like it now! yeah..just as they closed for renovation....

i still can't believe how so many people could squeeze into the mambo floor..when i looked down at them from the top..all i could see were a huge sea of heads bobbing up and down...i bet i wouldn't be hurt if i jumped down at them from the top...on the other hand..i might be if i landed on some drunk moody grumpy person who doesn't want his/her hair to be flattened...lame shit!

tired of blogging..will continue later...
my teacher once told me that when you were happy with your life..you'd naturally grow fatter..sigh..i guess i'm happy with my life..
yeah..i've been..hate gg to bed feeling unhappy..but it's my own fault in a way..don't have the energy to put in any effort..and i'm tired of waiting..i wish there were some kind of status..on the other hand..no status IS some sort of status..

don't think too much of this entry..it is bout no one else 'cept me...
back at hall...busy week ahead..hopefully i find some time to squeeze in an entry!

ANYWAY holidays are coming! yay!
whaha..and why is that so?? I WENT FOR A JOG!!

omg! since like when did i last exercise..thought i looked abit pudgier when i turned and glanced at my mirror (for those who's been to my room..yeah my chair is placed parallel to the mirror..)

felt damn good sweating like a pig! haa..then i went to 'mop' my floor so nxt time no wearing of shoes into my room ah! but think i'll probably wear my slippers into my room by habit...

oooh..my floor looks clean and spotless now....

and i haven't bathed! have been thinking of bathing since 6pm until now..i'm officially going to bathe at 12.30am...

seems like i haven't really sat down and seriously blog for a long time...

hmm..let's see what's going on..

met sab to try freshkon alluring eyes contacts ydae! they gave us three pairs of coloured contacts..black(yes..black..u're not seeing things..), brown and grey...they were monthlies...

we were doing a survey on whether they made your eyes appear bigger..think the lenses made me look weird..like some freaking scared kitten with enlarged irises! i opened one side of each pair..so now i have like one side of each colour opened now but they are coloured and have to be thrown away after a month...how wasteful! bah! (said in a snideful manner)

and i walked from yih back to hall(walked through business)! was alone noe..but damn proud of myself..'cause i wouldn't walk in such dark places by myself in the past..

anyway..i bought tix unwillingly for my hall bash ydae night too..the only bash i wanna go for is the trifac bash..but i can't! 'cause it's my father's bdae..and i'd rather spend it with my family..but i SO want to go for the bash..BECAUSE i'll be going with sher and huilin! sigh...but think i'll go later in the night..hopefully by the time i reach there'll still be people..there will be pharmacy dentistry and medicine people there(see..that's why it's called TRIfac bash)..have this stubborn mentality that the people of the two other fac would be rushing home to study (not you sher!)...haa...

but luckily i have puaysian going with me for my hall bash! so now i'm looking forward to it..it's held at gotham penthouse which i think is a superb place abeit a little cramp...

gosh! it's ten past my official bath time..got to run!

yes...have been gouging myself with too much food that i now look like a hamster storing food in its cheeks..sigh!

maybe it's time i get rid of the snacks in my room...

feel like an elaphant(spelled this way on purpose) now...wanted to go carmen's place just now..but decided not to when i couldn't stuff all my things into my bag..anyway..i'm exhausted!!

should i bathe before i slp or should i just go slp? know the answer should be the former but i'm just too lazy.........

anyway...time to exercise!!! and eat less!!!!
i've just redone my side bar! beeyewtiful! will tidy it up some other time...gg to watch tv with andrea and dann now!
noe what?! i'm starting to like hostel food! haa...on the bright side..everything taste nice now! bad thing is i get weird stares whenever i say the food is nice 'cause think they really suck actually! i have immunised taste buds now! haa!

supposed to go central library to study while waiting for andrea to be done with her stuff BUT sleepiness was hanging over me like i'm its only client..

now that i'm back in the hostel..i feel wide awake! bleah..at least i can squeeze some studying time in...

can't wait to go home for the weekends!!!
had real fun ydae! felt abit guilty too...

anyway! it's 9am now..i've a lesson only at 2pm..wat am i doing up? bleah..there is something wrong with me..my stomach is bloated with air!

going to listen to my webcast now..........
am glad to just be around friends..feel that i'm drifting further and further away from hall life..have not seen anyone in hall ever since tues night..guess the nxt time i really sit down and talk to ppl in the hall would be nxt monday..

i know i'm supposed to be involved in hall life and stuff but i just hate being tied down..same reason why i've been hesitant to join many activities..i want a life in which i can just do what i want..anytime..anywhere!

really don't understand how the people in hall cope..they seem to be suffering from colds yet the still manage to attend all block stuff..

am training myself to be more 'thick-skinned' so that i won't feel so guilty everytime i miss something..it's tough really..almost went into depressed mode..save for my lovely friends who were there for me..

someone told me to think that these guys are able to take part in all the stuff because they have no outside life! whaha..that's a really comforting thought..but they are nice people all the same..am so tired..think im gg to slp for two hours on carmen's desk before heading back to nus! nitey peeps!
boy am i hngry..just woffled down two packet of snacks! maybe i shall just go to slp...
just bathed here at carmen's hostel and boy does it feel gd! the water power is damn strong! but there's no heater...

hmmm..would u prefer strong water power with no heater or super weak water power with heater?? i also dunno....

went to serena's hall just now..she tempted me into eating her octopussy snack..damn! she's like getting skinnier! bet she's feeding everyone so that everyone grows fatter..cunning! after that she walked me back to meet carmen halfway..then she left alone even though johnathan hadn't turned up..felt guilty leaving her there!

then i was 'collected' by carmen AND YUANTING! sho nice of them..felt guilty for making them walk out of the hostel! and then..carmen went to fill my water bottle when i was bathing..sho nice right??

anyway..it's been quite a gd experience here after all..started off bad but ended off quite well!

gd luck to the guy for your presentation tmrw!!! bet u'll look gd!

didn't eat any solid meal today..feeling very hungry!!!