The most courageous act is still to think for yourself. Aloud.

when i'm depressed...i blog...

hence you see me here typing a long pile of shit for you to read..

smart ones will also deduce that i've not been depressed for awhile...

or at least i was pretending not to be..

it all sparked off when puaysian asked me who i thought my closest friend now was..

with him being an exception that is...

i thought bout it..as each second ticked by, reality dawned upon me as loud as a steam train roaring pass you..

I DIDN'T KNOW THE ANSWER TO HIS QUESTION

what a damn-ing depressing thought

it seems to me that i've been neglecting all my friends...

or staying away from them..but why? maybe it's cause i feel that they're better off not spending time with me..what a horrible thought but yes..it's there in my head..

even worst! i feel that they're bored with me..horrors! puaysian tells me it's just my imagination..but i can't help it if it's over-reactive can i?

AND with the final physical pharm CA coming up..it's the freaky true or false format again!

it's my academic phobia i tell you..

the last time i had anatomy true or false i flunk it so badly cause for every correct answer, i had one wrong one..

and they took away marks for incorrect answers! argh! i was just squirming away in my seat as i counted my marks as our lecturer went through the test with us..

SUNDAY IS MUGGING DAY!

which is tmrw or today i mean..

sigh..and sometimes i think i have to define my expectations..my expectations are so not realistic man..

guess once i'm able to set my expectections meter right will i then be able to be happy...

had a little sob just now...

felt much better though when i went to the toilet and saw how good i look when i'm sad..SADISTIC..don't tell me..i know...

went out to celebrate puaysian's bdae today..have a few photos to post..and my hair totally was in its best behaviour when i came home and peered into the mirror...

but it'd be too inappropriate to show my lovely hair in the middle of a depressed post wouldn't it?

i'm tired..i'm going to bed!
HAPPY ONE MONTH!!!

to the england guard...

haa..doesn't make sense right?

TOO BAD

hope the day ahead will be real real fun!!
tons tons tons happened! and i still have no time to blog...

finally i can take a breather from all the studying..wait a minute..was there any in the first place? anyway..i'm taking monday night off just to pack my stuff and NOT touch anything distinctly related to that freaking 8 letter word s t u _y _ _ g...watched a few shows..read a few blogs..everything but to seriously blog..

shows how much blogging means to me now..
there's seriously something wrong with me..

i've never not study for a test..

but for the following CAs i've not been studying at all...

my CAP is really going to suffer..

agnes agnes..what're u doing?
on a rainy night..tucked in bed with my lappie..

i'm laden with a pneumonia-like cough and a physio test to study for..

what better way to make it more bizarre than a person talking to me on msn with a strange language...


strange person: como andas man ??
ME: har!?
strange person: ??
strange person: dond estas ??
ME: who're u?
strange person: forget it


whaha..forget it? you arrogant creep! i bet you don't even know the meaning of 'har'!

weird..how did i even add this person in the first place? anyway..i'm thinking of changing my blogskin..found this really good one to use..but i can't change it as the person only provided some zipped files and not the usual template code..

me being a IT doofus have no idea how to use it! argh! someone help!
gosh!

i was just starting out on a boring entry bout me being back in hostel when i went to read daphne's blog..all i can say is GOSH!

sigh..wish she and zhuang would get back together..BUT the biggest consequence of them not being together is her closing her blog..omg! that'll be one less interesting blog to read.

in case you didn't know, her blog is my FAVOURITE blog..i wouldn't even want to open my browser if not for her blog!

anyway test and all are coming but i still went shopping with my sis yesterday!

it was a blast..pictures and all coming up soon..bought this new top and this secret item! haa..

won't be able to blog these few weeks 'cause of all the bombarding exams and the realisation that the final exams are coming soon..the only thing keeping me sane is the bigger realisation that hols will follow after that!

I CAN'T WAIT!
surprise on wed turned out to be a shocker! sigh..worst day of my life in orchard..

i'm sorry babe!

but the following days were dull but calm but guess what?! i like!!!

i see a cook somewhere in you!

friday was the nxt most eventful day..went to meet sab for film screening in the morning but was half an hour late AGAIN! sho sorry gal!! have to make u wait ALL THE TIME! sorry!!!

and i finally bought my printer..haa..it's only freaking $79! did i also mention that i bought the ink before i bought the printer? haa..the ink was selling at $20 for 6 cartridges! gosh! a great deal!! and i bought it at a lower price cause it was half price for the next bundle if u bought a bundle of 6 cartridges already..so i shared the dozen with adeline so i have 6 cartridges for $15!

i suddenly see the erruption of exclaimations marks..haa..but i really like friday...

after my lecture for the day ended..i went with sab and michael to central library..kept dozing off after they left..

went to clementi to meet puaysian and at plaza sing we bumped in who else but sab and michael! haa..cool shit! i still remember her telling me to try the jiang cong lu rou at the food court! next time kay?

puaysian and i decided that since halloween was coming we would put you in halloween mood!




















scary!! whaha..halloween seems fun and guess what! it's puaysian's bdae! whaha..

off to study for my test on monday..not feeling tired at 2.50 am now..

p.s. everyone go get your cakes from secret recipe now..they rock!! and they're at half price now!
haven't been updating much lately..

NO TIME!
yes..to me going for supper was a flop..

it wasn't the supper that was a flop..the food was nice and all..

it was ME GOING TO SUPPER that was floppy..i know that it's my fault i distanced myself from the block people in the past..but i'd rather spend that time on puaysian and my family..

this is so going to be my LAST blk event that i'm attending!

like andrea said, 'at least we got to experience hall life..'

and i got to spend time with andrea after my supper! it was good just being with someone close..so i accomplised at least two stuff on my to-do list..i went to show face at the supper and i caught up with andrea!

in terms of work..i managed to finish stupid long practical 2 and read through urinary system for anatomy!

but i'm so slpy from the lack of slp..

sunday night (or rather monday morning): 4am to 7pm ---> 3 hours

lousy three hours of slp!

i'm going to slp now! time reading 2.37am..
it suddenly dawned on me that i have so many things to balance..

sigh....

my most irrated bugging problem is my studies..it's just so tough to understand stuff that are taught to me now..it's no longer the situation i had in sec 3..when i could finish all my hw then spend the whole day at tamp mall with serena and still had enough time to watch tv at night..

next up are my friends..i feel kinda distant from some of them..

like andrea and dann - we used to spend monday nights watching america's nxt top model. missed it for a week..hopefully not tmrw..
i especially hope to catch up with andrea..though we stay in the same hall and all..hadn't seen u like since i have no idea when!

that toot lame carmen - though we usually scream hi on msn..that'd be it then we both would be too busy with our own shit..

my jc classmates - just(ok maybe not just) had our bbq but i didn't see ppl like ching irene and serene..wonder how u guys are like now..

and for some strange reason..i've always been thinking of keeping in touch with my long-lost primary sch pals debbie and vel but always don't have the time to..hopefully this dec hols..

AND i miss shopping!! not that i've the moolah..but i missed the exhiliration and thrill of it..

but i still have my dearest puaysian! who's been there for me..it's been a great week in terms of getting to know your bros and spending time with u!

and my dear family..have not laughed as much in the week as the time with u guys this weekend..

well..i hope my sad spell will blow away soon!
hours slpt: 4am to 1pm --->9 hours
work done: zilch

have to be one of my worst days..feeling strangely depressed now..i never know where to put all my commitments..

stuck with a physio tutorial that i can't get started on..

feeling a lump down my throat that i can't get rid of..

one week more to the dreaded CAs..

and i don't have the power to make them disappear..

past week have a weird week..no unhappiness yet i feel that i've been neglecting alot of people..

hopefully i get back on track this week...
have not been seriously blogging since god knows when!

but that might be due to the fact that there's nothing to blog bout..but this cannot be true cause i have two big topics on my mind to blog about...

problem is i have alot of stuff on my mind to complete...and if i do not complete them..i won't be able to blog in peace..

but i always set too many things for myself to complete..otherwise it's my procrastination again! sigh..

on the other hand! i had soooo much slp! gosh!

29 sept thurs - 6am to 8am ---> 2 hours
30 sept fri - 4.30am to 8.30am ---> 4 hours
1 oct sat - 5.45am to 7.15am ---> 1.5 hours GOSH
2 oct sun - 2am to 12 noon ---> 10 hours
3 oct mon - 3.30am to 6.30am ---> 3 hours
4 oct tues - 2.30am to 8.30am ---> 6 hours
5 oct wed - 3.30am to 9.30am ---> 6 hours
6 oct thurs - 4am to 6.50am ---> round up to 3 hours
7 oct fri - 2am to 1pm ---> 11 hours woohoo!
8 oct fri - 4am to 1 pm ---> 9 hours

therefore out of 10 days, i slpt a total of........55.5 hours!

gosh..5.55 hours per day..but i feel so awake now after sleeping so much for the past two days!

and i completed tons of stuff this week! actually not alot..but enough for a start..

just realised there's about 7 weeks left to the end of the sem and then whee! it's the hols!

I CAN'T WAIT!
well..i'm at home now and i feel damn good!
GOSH! had so little slp these past 7 days..for some reason..i'm more awake in lectures when i slp less..

but the dark gigantic thingy under my eyes..erm..let's not talk bout it....
was reading andrea's blog and read this line...

ppl sae u haben reallie lived until u loved..is this true?

well for me..i guess it's kinda true..i heard people saying and read writings describing how your senses are more sensitive when one's in love..

i guess when you're in love..you experience extreme feelings most of the time..

you can be feeling extremely blessed and happy..

or you may be feeling super depressed and down..

anger is often of a different magnitude too..

would i rather give up love so that i wouldn't feel such extreme sadness..don't think so!

cause the happiness you gain from love is so overwhelming..it freaks you out sometimes..

so to ps..no matter how irritaed and unhappy you've made me feel..nobody can make me as happy and delighted as you! thinking of you as i write this entry..

yes dear all..you can ignore the previous post and go ahead!

it's the first day of october! supposedly children's day..but we're all too old for that.......

time to wake green day up! haa...*croons* wake me up when sept ennnndddsss....

happy birthday to serene and min! all turning 19 one after the other!

BUT i'm still 18!
i see that you don't really understand english..either that or you are just plain stubborn!

do not read the previous entry just yet...

accidentally clicked publish!

haa..but it's a little sneak-peak into my nxt long entry!