The most courageous act is still to think for yourself. Aloud.

it's 2am..i'm all cleaned up from sundown. and i feel sleepy and really really hungry.

somewhere along the streets of eastern singapore, parry and maymay are still running the 42k.

had a great time running the 10k with joy and mel! may has been the month i've ran the least..but we completed it!

the last 1k was horrible for me though. wanted to stop so many times because each 100m felt like eternity. then i saw mel zooming past me. i tried following her but she was too fast.

we met parry and had a little post-run feast. okay it was just dessert. and joy bought stingray.

okay pictures later..gonna take chlorphen for my rash from timbre and watch a little greys..


touched down at changi at 5am this morning. came home, checked my mails, then headed out to the park for a run with my mum. i don't think i'm ready for sundown eeps! went to the docs for my eye infection and slept til lunch. now i'm facing this hugeee packing dilemma..heaps of stuff but nowhere to stash them!













only started packing today. and i hate that nagging feeling that i've forgotten to bring something. strangely only half my luggage is filled!

and my period just came today. hmm can't decide if it's a good or bad thing. it's no wonder i've been feeling emo-nemo-ish. am feeling like beached whale now though. damm bloated. but at least i won't be having cramps in tokeeyo!

gonna be on the plane almost the whole day tomorrow. first time taking china eastern so there's no usual in-flight entertainment. car said the last time she took china eastern. she watched brokeback mountain. twice. haha! i brought scanned shanghai maps and highlighters to mark out the eateries, cards to play daidee with my family, the fancl catalogue to read and coupled with only the two hours of sleep i'm gonna get, i guess i have plenty of activities to occupy myself with on the flight. hopefully i'll just konk out. i totally hate it when i get fidgity and yet i'm confined to my seat.

i guess i'm kinda psyched to be spending the next week with my family. have not been seeing them much after the exams. and this is our first free and easy trip. so loads of exploring to do together. sounds fun to me!

a few things happened recently that made me muse over stuff. stuff that were once dormant, but have now been stirred up.

since the big S back in 2007, i've been spending way much more time on friends than family. so today after leaving bitbit at the bunnysitter (another sobfest story all on its own), i spent the afternoon with my mum. just her and me. it's been a long time since we did stuff together. and strangely i kinda enjoyed it. reminded me of the times i used to go grocery shopping with her. or when we had lunch together at Amoy when we were both working at shenton way.

was supposed to bring bitbit to the bunnysitter's place then meet the 19 peeps for l4d. but ended up walking around with my mum getting last minute supplies for the trip. and it kinda took very long so i didn't meet them in the end. i hope they aren't mad!

travelled all the way across singapore to joy's place for hers and yxuan's birthday celebrations. reeling from the shock of the long train journey, i sat at the food table for awhile in silence, just feeding myself and wondering how nice and calming the easy banter at the food table was. uni life may well be over. but the friendships earned from the 4 years was worth every second of toil.

and now that a few friends have found themselves coupled up, there's this annoying, nagging tic at the back of my head. but no, the breath of fresh air..the freedom of not having to think how my actions will affect another is too much of a fixation to give it up.

and i wonder how fortunate i am to have found a confidant in an friend who was merely an acquaintance in the past. and in such a short period of time too. i guess you know who you are. i'm thankful that you're there to listen without judging. and i'm glad you've moved on to a better place and that you've earned your bliss. may it rub off on me hurhur!

well it feels good to heave these thoughts here. all said in goodwill so peace! i'm still awfully bothered that i haven't started packing though. ugh i'm such a last-minute queen!

with cherie's job done, all that's left is the packing before i'm flying away yeh yeh!

this week's been passing like a blur. i hope the whole hols or what's left of it isn't gonna be like that. today's really packed. am not going to be able to squeeze my precious afternoon nap in. am waiting for the laundry to be done now then i'll head to car's place coz she's gonna help me plan for shanghai! ((: i'll have dinner with family coz i haven't seen them the whole week. then i'll head out to meet 19 peeps for wolverine!

and i don't know about you but i love blasting songs on my earphones even though i know i'm gonna be deaf much earlier than all of you down the road. and there're just some songs that just have to be played on earphones instead of speakers.


these are pretty good. they may be from eons ago but they still sound good!

been busy pretty much...working mornings seem to be a pretty good option to me. i love waking up early. the world just seems to be such a different place. have been taking loads of afternoon naps though!

i had a super weird dream just this afternoon. of kangaroos and secret torches.

gonna meet joy later in the evening for some swearing-in thingy. doubt we'll be paying much attention to the stage!

and i was thinking of heading out for a short run at 3.30..but it's so scorching hot! i just want to stay indoors. and my shins hurt. i think i'm making excuses.

i just bought a nice floaty dress off the net and i'm exhilarated coz it fits and it was a bargain! i love waiting for packages in the mail to arrive.

my room is still a mess. more so ever than during school term. i just push everything under the bed!


and i wanna stud my jeans! i just can't seem to find those dammed studs ANYWHERE!


finally decided to hit the roads after pigging out with carmeny yesterday afternoon. 2km into my run, i felt like a huge sandbag punched me in my lower abdomen. it felt like menstrual cramps but the worst ever.

was thinking of turning around and heading back, but i saw another female runner. she looked sweaty, hot, and in pain but still she went trudging along. so after adjusting my laces, i continued running, routed around expo and back to simei.

haven't ran for slightly more than a week and already i feel flabby and breathless after climbing some stairs. i hope the hiatus wld not bring back the monthly menstrual cramps. used to have them real bad until i started running more. then they completely disappeared.


alright just a short post. i've to give bitbit a bath. my mum and sis has been commenting that she looks a little worse for the wear. i think she looks adorable as always!

saturday saw me rising early to follow my mom to the supermarket for grocery shopping! spent the afternoon baking cupcakes since i've been craving for those that sher made.


finished it up with white choc frosting.


they tasted really good right after they were baked, but sunday saw my grandma and uncle saying that they tasted otherwise. so i am pretty deflated. but i will not be disheartened! shall thrive on my mum being the best baker in my extended family and pick her head on how baking shld be done right!

my dad bought back roasted duck for lunch during baking time and boy was it good!


not a big fan of duck but the sauce that came with these were awesome! my mum spent saturday making dumplings for the festival too..so yummers! i have a very happy tummy. unfortch i've been putting off running ever since the rain on friday morning. saturday and sunday saw me swearing to head our for an evening run and try out the Revolts but instead i plonked out for hours til dinnertime at 8. sigh!

hey everyone meet alayna..my new running companion! haha..i'm still wondering whether i should be serious on the name. but my mum's running shoes officially gave up on me last friday. got my mum and sis to accompany me down to the adidas store at tamp 1 on sunday to get the red supernovas. but my size were out of stock booo.

so when my mum brought me to the adidas outlet store near her workplace, i saw this adistar and had to get it! like grey is soo my favourite colour...grey and glittery pink on the other hand...is like walking around in eden eating candy floss!

and because it's mother's day..the outlet store down at velocity is having additional 30% off on three items and above. so go down if you're in need of sports stuff! there's not much there but if you do find something, you get to save some i guess! i got a small little running pack too..it's waay cute! you clip it on to your shoes..fill it with your keys and coins and off you go!


and i wasn't quite in the pink to go on my class trip so instead i woke up after noon and went with my family to have dim sum!




those lovely dimsums sitting around in my tummy now..oh they looked so good earlier on. they just make me nauseous now. think my sis and i stuffed ourselves too much. our parents just sat there watching, knowing that they won't be feeling horrible hours after )):

and the holidays are here! it's so nice to just kick back, wake up knowing you don't have to sit down at the table soon to mug your brains off. i woke up today, took my own time to do stuff. put on jack johnson and just unwind.



had a great time out with the pharm ppl after the last paper. bowling, cake, ice cream, talk crap. haha..i loveee how we aren't the usual hit-the-stores-in-town-after-last-paper kinda people..coz that's what i always did back in sec sch and jc.

was sooo exhausted when i came back, all i wanted to do was hit the bed. but my mum was saying how it's high time i should clear all the papers on the dining table. was kinda annoyed how i couldn't just take a breather but somehow it turned into this whole massive packing up thing. i even changed my sheets and dumped all my jc stuff! )): i guess not touching them at all for 4 years meant that i wasn't ever gonna touch them ever in my life..still it was heart-renching deciding whether or not to chuck them. little notes hozzy wrote while we were bored in class. puaysian's handwriting on my books coz we studied tgt back then. and my horrendous grades in all the common tests!!


looking throught them..i must be some kind of nerd maan. it was way much more than what we're doing in uni now..and i'm finding it waay more difficult now? my brain is dying on me!


so i msged alex bout m'sia before finally falling on my bed at midnight and only waking up at 12.30pm today! wow wheee..fully rested!

right..the time is now 10 minutes to 2.30pm but i have yet to start any work! rarr the last paper syndrome! gonna get my ass down to library soon! my part of the room is really messy! and dear bitbit has just tried to burrow her way into the boxes under my bed a couple of days before..no time to clean it up yikes!


and the irony. haha!


okay time to get started! grabba grabba!

i slept at 5am last night so when my mum called me at 11am, saying 'morning call! is it too early?' i muffled a 'yeaa...' but since i was up, might as well get back to PT. breakfast and sun block and changed and the bed looked real appealing so i decided to take a nap. til freaking 3pm!! my goodness...i feel like such a sloth!

life after the exams seems really packed...but EXCITING! packed is good!

as much as i claim to detest you, sometimes old bits of you resurface and your worthwhile virtues shine through. just the odd instances. i know growing up isn't easy. and i don't claim to be an angel. but i know that sometimes you should things more lightly. you know you have strength within. keep that but kick the anal personality. and i'm sure the future will be bright.

it sucks that grades and paper mean so much in our birthplace. sometimes it stifles us so much. sometimes i wish i could just fret less bout what momo and muffin want, and find my own path in fashion or design or singing (yea right). but i'm not gutsy enough. maybe you could be one of those instead. care less bout the yawn-inspiring normalcy and live your dreams.

it's always easier said than done but no future is bleak if we have support and determination. find the determination. earn the support. and above all, always smell the roses along the way.