The most courageous act is still to think for yourself. Aloud.

i'm a big muddle-head! went swimming today since i consumed an astounding amount of food during the new year. and i forgot to bring my bathing stuff! all my shampoo, body bath, face soap all packed and sitting nicely on my table! ugh...

anyhows i've been talking to an old friend and i'm really impressed by how much he's changed. wow..it's crazy! but crazy good! haven't caught up for ages....and he comes up with this kinda stuff. but it's good on him of course. have been catching up with lots of old friends this past year and i've to say it's done me good. been really eye-opening.

and i just cleared my bag of the trash that was building up! i just found dried up noodles! ahahaha...super funny!



whoopieee! i completed my first 6k run this evening!!!

but my knees are aching like any now. two hours after the run, i was limping around the house.

met up with the class people earlier on coz dhan's back in singapore! and sher doctor-to-be recommended no running anytime soon. unless i wanna have early-age osteoarthritis ))): that is freaky. but frankly, i think i might already have OA. but running is possible just not in the very near future..right? read the next 2 weeks. shall go swimming instead.

we headed to dhan's place around midnight where i was just too happy to see dear danny and filius. the 6 of us then headed to the tamp place for prata. and it's been a long time since i had prata but it was gooood!

and i was feeling a little under the weather at the start of the week . but after talking to joy, car and titus, they've made me see the right side of things again. it's funny how bad memories seemed to fade with time and that's left are the beautiful ones.

anyhows it's cny and the start of a 5 day breather from school. so i'm like on top of the world now. super tired. but if you just look that bit more excited at me, i'll prance around for you. yes i'm that happy! happy hols everyone!







i really have to sleep early. headed to bed at 1am last night with eyes that were barely open. but i picked up the book at my bedside and couldn't get to sleep til i flipped to the last page at 3am. THE CRIMSON LABYRINTH by Yusuke Kishi. wow seriously good stuff! i haven't felt that way about a book since dan brown. it made me soo scared i didn't dare head to the toilet without bitbit haha..

which means i was super tired yet again the entire day. really bad habit. i really hate the lack of sleep coz it means i'm on autopilot mode the entire day. anyhows i've collected my new spekkiess! makes me look real intellectual!! haha..

and the whole of pharm year 4s are alive with the buzz of grad trips. makes me wanna really want one too. but the lack of funds and indecision on where to go is holding me back.

i swear there's someone in the universe looking out for me. everytime i start feeling miserable coz something ebbs, something comes along to distract me from it. and when that wanes as well, another tide comes along. it's been a huge cycle of lows and highs ever since the year started.

i managed to come on time for IP and stay awake ninety-five percent of the time today. was about to head home to sleep but something made me stay back in school to copy notes. spent the afternoon with titus around town coz he left his keys in his pickup which was at the garage for repair. so i finally got something to wear for cny..approved by the mum as well! i got the latest issue of seventeen as well. and most imptly i guess i'm taking the cardinal step to answering questions i stuffed at the back of my head. coz that's what i do to traumatic events. and they're starting to surface alot more these days..darn! so loads of fervent ranting coming up..but that's my way of losing the steam so don't mind me!

nooo i can't believe the weekend passed just like that! it's too fast. had a good weekend i guess? met up with ps in town on sat for dinner. then went to meet the class for more wii. haha..we tried new stuff with the wii...and that cleared my grumpy mood.

and when i was out, my mum and sis came up with the bestest tasting pineapple tarts ever. too bad they're all almost finished by the family!

sunday was normal grandma visiting day but we had a great lunch at the hongkong st place. went for a run in the evening and i explored a new part of tampines. coz instead of heading right at the bottom of my block, i went left instead. it was a less crowded route. but the amount of times i had to stop at traffic junctions..gosh!

so it means no school work touched this weekend. but i read in the papers rest is better for your memory. haha seeking all reasons to not touch my work. latest ep of greys is out!! snuggling time for bitbit as well...

okay i might be overdramatizing yesterday. when you wake up, everything seems to be a tad better. and having good-natured people around you helps as well.

i just showed my mum my new year clothes..and they've all been rejected. omg apparently it's too dark to be worn for cny. gahhh like the only colours i wear are grey, black, navy blue..which means i've to do more shopping (((: haha but i'm really broke. was trying really hard to hide the price tags on the new garbs from my mum..

anyhows my sister is in seventeen mag! so go get it! funny thing is both of us haven't seen it yet.


it's painful when you're no longer the apple of one's eye.
but it's been that way for more than a year.
and i've just came about realising it.
and it sucks. big-time.

it's only the first week of school but i'm already feeling absolutely run-down. have been having 3 hours of rest every night. it's crazy..haven't felt this tired in ages. came home close to 11pm and i'd like a thousand stuff to print and sort and pack.

and granted that i stayed awake last night 'til 4am (was worth every bit of it though (: ) even though i was all ready for sleep at midnight, unsurprisingly i arrived 20mins late to IP lecture )): the look on prof C's face when i walked in was intimidating enough to ensure that i'm not gonna be late for any of her remaining lectures.

after sch today, i headed to chinatown with sher, sab, mike and greg for some new year mood gathering. was a pretty good way to forget all the mounting work for awhile. just stuffing our faces and laughing.

'til i reached home that is.

this sem is crazy! just plain freaking crazily hectic....

YAYYYYYY! gonna be darn tired in class tmr but YAYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!

wow whee these ysl heroes are lethal looking stilettoss...
credits to jakandjil

unofficial first day of school for me yesterday (well technically it's already the second day). i've to sleep really early from now on. like 1/3 of my classes require me to look awake in them. and i can't do it on 3 hours of sleep and 6am waking up times. this sem is gonna be real hard work. loads of readings, loads of memorising...i feel depressed already thinking bout it.

but we had my favourite lunchtime at the tree trunks..and sitting around talking bout the most silly stuff with everyone again was really good.

lisa gave farv a really cool tatt..mel you've really got me started on this tattoo crazeee! la ink rocks laa..really love the bird out of cage ep..


and i pleaded with joy to give me one too...the thing about tatts is that you've really got to have a reason before having one. i've to feel really strongly about it before going ahead with it. don't wanna regret coz it's gonna be lifetime. i'll have to look at it when it turns blue-green at age 90 and still smile at it.


after school was the steamboat...alex wrote our names with adjectives on our cups..funniest have got to be tomato titus ahahaha..an alex is hilarious too...


we were supposed to head to the seletar dam but titus had food poisoning so we had it at his place instead


prep time peeks




the seven of us! we had the most fun in awhile over dinner laughing at the most absurd things. i can't rem what we were laughing over but i do remember clutching my stomach in pain over all the laughter.



the calm before the storm i guess. this sem is gonna be a real hectic one. gonna rest one last day today, maybe squeeze in my swimming time. once the drug quiz starts tomorrow, it's gonna be one whole big whirlwind before the exams. woke up today with a smile. haha can't rem my dream this time but it's def not what joy wished for me )):

these few days have been crazy..i'm actually having insomnia...am so so tired but just can't sleep. i think i'm too used to sleeping at 5am already. made myself head to bed by 3am yesterday coz of 8am lessons. and i tossed and turned and talked to bitbit for ages in bed, all the time being too scared to check the time because it'd make it all the harder to sleep if i knew i had like even lesser sleeptime.

well i fell asleep immediately at 4am yesterday and woke up at 11am without the irritating swollen feeling you get when you don't have enough rest so i see some improvements yea..i HAVE to have some swim time today. wanna sleep the moment i hit my bed tonight. it's our little 8 people module tomorrow and it's either gonna be sleep early and look perky OR lots of coffee and flatulancy! haha..

it's funny how you want something so much yet when you no longer do, it comes right back at you.

was a pretty short day. met sab and greg to head to school together. i reached at 10am, by 11.15am lessons for the day was over. err yea..what a weird first day of school. anyhows, i kept falling asleep during IP. i love prof k but he just speaks too slowly. i was willing my eyes to stay open in a class of 8 people. unfortch, i think i fell asleep a couple of times.

headed home to study for the drug quiz. wanted to head out to changi for a swim but i took a nap coz it was really boring studying for the quiz and kept snoozing the alarm 'til my mum came home at 7pm! so no swim in today. i guess i can put that in on wed. ran around tampines yesterday, & i realised there're many young runners along the path i ran. the last time i went on the same path, i saw many old men.

oh and i had another weird dream this afternoon. i dreamt that i was supposed to be going on a steamboat with a sec sch friend. but she dumped our outing for her boyfriend after we sat this adventure ride coz she said i cheated on her by talking to her ex?!!? haha the weirdest stuff happens in my dream. it's like a mish-mash of whatever occurs in my waking life cept that there are no boundaries between my different lives..

okay gonna continue from where i left off yesterday so it may seem rather abrupt....

then we had a countdown at titus' place on new year. but before that we went to watch IP MAN the movie. awesome show! everyone should catch it. but i'm starting to regret watching a kungfu show with the guys. still it was thrilling during the show. and alex sitting beside me kept pumping his fist in the air and going I-P-MAN I-P-MAN. haha hilarious. oh btw it's supposed to be pronounced as yip marn.


headed to titus' where we could actually see fireworks from his windows. yay first group shot of the year.


yes and see what i meant about watching kungfu shows with guys. GOSH it's still going on now...


and greg's new year resolution is to learn some skill like picking up money from people with his toes.


then alex had to leave coz he had food poisoning and was feeling unwell. not before taking a few more pictures on the way out in titus' super dark living room.




haha this wins all the above.


titus showed me his bike in the carpark. i'll never ride a bike in life already..the saddle's freaking high and i'm too short ))):


dhana i know your exams are over. so when you read this, see your highlights!!! it's starting to come up more like these days..


titus brought us to this open field near his place and we had fun playing with sparklers!


well they made me climb onto this container-carrier vehicle and then they wouldn't help me down )):


okay more IP MAN influences throughout the whole night...



and we took like hundreds of pictures with all the different heavy machinery vehicles..but these are my favourites..


pseudo-race down the multi-car carrier thing with an awesome halo from the streetlamp




and how cool is this. they look like a scene out of harry potter.


titus going to run over greg...


after this picture my cam battery gave up for good so we headed to tampines prata place for supper coz everyone was really hungry from all the climbing..not that i did much of it haa..but fear of heights make me hungry...

then we headed back and bathed because titus is a clean freak and wouldn't let anyone on his bed and mattresses without us bathing first. we continued our chat from the prata place and fell asleep around 7am..

i had to wake up at 10am to head home coz i had another family gathering. was soo tired that day..fell asleep everywhere..on the edge of the sofa, while standing..and esp in the car.

then there was another percussion outing! shijia and cuis brought us to this vegetarian place at shaw tower that sells western food. we then had ice cream at this place called tom's palette. the ice cream was fantastic! they had exotic flavours like lychee and rose, white choc and cranberry, pistachio, pumpkin but the best flavour was chocolate! and it's really good for its price. $2.50 for a smallest size cup with two flavours.


after lunch and ice cream, we went shopping and i bought all my new year clothes and more. the shops are all having crazy sales these days. reminder to self: watch expenditure!

then there was another stayover at titus' coz his parents were overseas and we'd have the whole house to ourselves and we could make as much noise as we wanted.





the very next day i met car and andrea for some beer loving at brewerkz!


beer was freaking cheap coz we went at 2pm..check out the prices..only 4 bucks for a pint..


then we spotted some man with some funny headgear. we had no idea whether it was shades or headphones or some accessory.


we had their lovely pizza...


and buffalo wings...


pretty andrea!


after that when we headed back to central, we saw pierre png filming! he's like how hot!


met the guys at night again and titus brought us to marina barrage..it's a really nice place...for couples...haha..super windy so don't wear flowing skirts or dresses...









okay this was taken with self-timer...


the wind started being really strong when the cam started snapping..haha look at everyone's expression compared to the previous one..so hilarious!



we then headed to simpang to meet jaehee and for supper...



okay really half-hearted attempt to blog coz there were sooo many photos..gonna have steamboat on titus' pickup part deux tomorrow! wheee...i really love the place at seletar..

here's photos from the previous one..don't think i blogged bout it..






i know it sounds silly but i can smell baked shepherd pie coming from my neighbour's place.

haha i just found out that the pharm elective that i'm taking has only 8 students? haha HILARIOUS..i'm sooo glad faarv is one of the eight though. love farv..he makes me laugh!

the holidays this time was short but i guess i enjoyed myself. spent loads of time with the class guys...some with the percussion gals and some with the pharm ppl. we were supposed to have two parties but everyone was too sucked into their busy fyp lives. i wish their loads were lighter though..fyp sounds uber tough.

okay here are some of what happened after sydney.

met up with joy, mel and parry on xmas day itself for xmas decor shots down orchard.


the gals setting up shop with their SLRs


hey! a model's job is not all smiling and partaying kay hoho..it gets tiring at times...


orchard road was crazily crowded on xmas day. so we decided to take refuge from the crowd in mac cafe. horrible coffee lovely catchup...and then it was time to trudge on..

and since i've only got my little trusty digicam..i decided to capture 'em SLR ppl instead..


and then we spotted some guys doing jumpshots in front of the orchard road traffic. they'd carry their tripods and race to the middle of the road everytime the green man came on. so COME ON, we had to do it too..kinda chatted to the two guys and they helped us capture some successful jumpshots.


but i still love the failed ones the most. parry calls this picture 'i'm a little teapot..short and stout' in facebook i think he's a genius man have no idea why i didn't tell him so haha.


yea and us laughing hysterically everytime we have to scurry off the road when the red man comes on.


and because we stayed til about 3am, parry gave me and joy a lift back home and i cannot tell him how grateful i was coz i was feeling horribly tired and i'm sitting comfortably at the back of his car while he has to drive all the way to the east to drop me off at tampines and then all the way to the west to drop off joy at jurong. thanks parry!!

and then there was my birthday celebration with the perc gals!


we ate at cafe cartel and i know i've said it so many times but i love their bread loadsss..maybe it's coz of the butter as well...


yay present time!


thank you guys! so touched by the present. there i am at home, trying to use the crabtree hand lotion you guys gave me so sparingly coz i didn't want it to finish. and here's a whole load more of crabtree! wheee!


and then it was class party with the jc peeps..look at the horrible guyss!!


we had choc fondue which was wonderful until we added baileys in and the whole choc thing started to curdle. then we had to play the number game to finish it up. and whoo i got the number when i was the first one to guess..huilin was the one thinking of the number! HUILIN!! you should have changed the number! ))):

and then we had our gift exchange and my gift exchange buddy was greg! who's not looking at the cam i just realised.


so the few of us who stayed over got comfortable in kelly's room and played monopoly


it was spongebob monopoly haha..say helloo to patrick who was my moving piece. i keep calling him papaya coz he looks like one..


then we played mahjong so by the time we actually watched Love Actually it was 4am. and everyone fell asleep except kelly's boyfriend. haha..

and then at 7am titus rustled the easties home..i don't actually rem the reason but it was something vampire-like. like he had to go home before the sun came up or something haa!

so greg alex and i went to macs where we shared hotcakes..omg three grown ppl sharing pancakes..and then we discovered the smile shutter on my cam. it takes a picture when it detects a smile. but it takes the most unglam pics like this. i so need some help from the freckles fairy. the australian sun was crazy to my face.


ahaha i had to pose these smile shutter pics. they're hilarious! i hope the guys don't read my blog.


and sometime between xmas and new year. my mum made me pack the shoes i had. )): it was torture. i threw away 3 pairs and now have 7 more pairs that are going to be thrown if i do not touch them for the next 6 months. ))):


ooh and i cannot forget this. kindergarten meetup! mel from pharm and titus from jc are my kindegarten friendss. mel came up with this collage which i think is really cool. and yes i zhao geng okay.


it's crazy how small the world really is.


okay i'm gonna stop here..it's like only half of what this post should be. but as usual uploading photos is being a bitch and i've lessons at 10 tomorrow morning. and it's like 4am now and i haven't watched my grey's ep of the week )): and victor just laughed and reminded me that having 8 students in a class means no skipping lessons ever. sigh! better tuck in early every sunday night.

oh gosh i just stuffed my face with half a nian gao and i'm feeling super pukish now. ugh...

gonna pack and get ready for school. then i'll blog 'til i sleep i guess..euyew nian gao has officially fallen from my top 10 list of cny must-eats to like i don't know where down the list...UGH!

oh and little nyonya just wasted 3 minutes of my time...WTH!!!! i had no idea even what they were talking about...where are the subtitles!


haha have been smiling to myself the whole day. if somebody could hear my thoughts, they'd be hearing laughter. i guess i'm at a point right now where i'm really contented. but that's only 'til school starts..but i'll be seeing alot of my old friend since i just found out that he goes to school one stop away from buona vista! haha..so something to look forward to during boring school..

okay lectures may be boring but i can't wait to meet everyone! haha..have been hanging out with too much testosterone lately! i'm almost bouncing with excitement at being able to see all the gals again!

anyhoos..much of my happiness has much to do with my dream haha..and only one person knows my dream soo far..so dear friend (((:

okay i'm really going bonkers...goodnight y'all...

haa no actually i can't. but i still like riding a bike. and the song is stuck in my head. not that i'm complaining. and yes bee before you say anything, i'm super old-fashioned but the song is niceeee! you're hip laa saw JL already jealousss...omg...same syllabus!

spent the whole day doing nothing at home. and gosh i'm getting quite good at it. took a nap in the evening and had a really good dream. haha was a really quirky and hilarious dream. i should start another blog chronicling my dreams. i seem to remember them quite well after i wake up.

joy has officially spread her shoe spree craze to mel and i. we just placed an order totaling a little more than 100 bucks. yikes. my bank account is dipping to an all time low again. have been spending the last 2 hours settling my expenses for the last two months. and i'm very very horrified by myself. no more good meals or movies or new clothes in the next few weeks!

they make me happy and excited! haha..was supposed to pack my room. but i spied my bag of new year clothies haha..and since joy's going new year clothes shopping. i decided to prance around in all my new year stuff as well. haha..so now my room's messier than ever. i've 45 mins to clear the floor of clothes and head out to meet my mum and sis!! gonna get new glasses and i want the ones that kirsten dunst has!



yes yes again. and i'm really tired but i can't sleep and i don't know why. and i really miss talking to joy. it's been forever. and i'm feeling really stoned. and i think it's funny how i'm just typing whatever i'm thinking. wonder whether it's the beer plus antihistamines. but it's been almost 12 hours ago already. i wonder whether you guys feel this way too? esp you car..drank like soo much again.. i miss andrea and car too. haha..this is crazy. okay i'm going off before i type more nonsense. this post wld probably be binned tomorrow morning. gabagabagaba...

finally..spent the entire day at home except for a trip out in the evening for rabbit supplies. little nyonya fever is at an all time high today seeing that it's the finale today. was in the pet shop and i merely asked my mum whether i should get the 1kilo or 3 kilo packet of rabbit food. and she went urgently, 'hurry up! i want to go home and cook! got little nyonya!' the whole shop turned to look at us ):

spent the entire day on desperate housewives, friends and cleaning my place. i decided that it was the final straw when i woke up today and couldn't find a place to put my feet on the floor to get out of bed.

and i finally killed this thick and round-looking spider in my room. i hope there's the last of it and it hasn't laid eggs in my stuff! somehow for the last few mornings, when i'm procrastinating to not get out of bed. i'll see it scuttling around. and the moment i get up to smack it, it disappears. today when i saw it, i was bent on killing it. no spinning your web near my place! but the only thing i saw around me was my pair of shoes. haha..so it now has spider juice on its base.

and speaking of shoes. i keep all new unworn shoes under my bed. so now it there's the one with bug juice on it and the ugg imitation boots from topshop under my bed. today when my dad came home around 10pm..i put on my shoes which were quite high, ran to the entrance of the kitchen and stood there smiling at my dad. ahahaha he knew what i was trying to do! and he went, 'even with 6inches heels, you won't win me!' hahaha...i didn't even utter a single word to him..

anyhoos, jaehee's back in singapore so the class met for dinner yesterday. there were soo many hilarious videos taken ahaha. couple of us went back to greg's to play wii for awhile and i ended up going home at 4am! so not keeping to my resolution.


sewing project tmr! have to finish two skirts..found a tutorial off the net on how to make one and it seems easy enough..alrights 20mins to 2am..shall get ready for bed.

yay clocked 5k and a whee bit more on the first run of the year!

went to run after work with greg...alex came later for gym but it was too late and the gym had closed. and awhile later sab and mike came...bringing with them the Saw5 DVD!! euyewww...twisted bones and spurting blood gallore! went to 85 for feeding time after..i love the porridge there..really good comfort food!

but i woke up today with super swollen and aching knees )): went to meet the perc gals for pasta and ice cream at shaw tower. then we went a la la la shopping! yay! i've finished my cny shopping...no more squeezing with the crowd! good riddance! it's like everyone in singapore decided to leave their homes and head to suntec.

and i swear running makes my legs grow bigger ): i know everyone says that it's supposed to make your legs thinner..look at marathon runners bla bla bla...but my mum just said today my legs are growing fat again! boooo...

anyhoos i collasped in bed around 11 and missed all of greg's and sab's call to supper. but they were really nice to drive down to my carpark area. so i brought bitbit down to meet them! haha..i think bitbit was really traumatised. but i think she really liked sab coz she doesn't let everyone carry her. oh and greg's car now has the most fur ever. i didn't dare to tell him but he should see the real mess tomorrow when the sun's up!

okayy time for another run of glucosamine..knees please hold up!!


2008 was not a good year for me. it was...weird. but i scrapped through it with the presence of friends and family who kept me laughing when i needed the laughter.

joy has an entry on her blog that listed the major events that occured to her this year and as i read it, it's like pheww we survived through all of that?! somehow as i sit here, it just seems overwhelming that an entire year just passed. i remember exactly what i did last year on the first day of 2008. i had supper with the jc ppl and the nxt day i woke up to accompany my mum who was warded in hospital.

i guess 2008 was spent with friends more than ever. lots of suppers and hanging out at greg's with my jc class. more outings with joy mel and parry. there were loads with the other pharm ppl as well but as fyp started, our little outings took a back seat. there was tauhuey sessions with car. meetups with daycare pals vels and debs.

family was good too. my mum allowed me out later at night more. turned a blind eye when i reached home at 2plus in the morning. i'm not sure whether it's because i've turned 21 but i'm really grateful for the trust. my dad's been an absolute cutie the whole year. haha making me laugh all the time with his stories or his acts. and giving me car rides whenever he can. things were different with my sis though. so in the new year, i'm gonna try to be nicer to my sis. she can be nice and very sweet at times too. in the face of all negativity, i must remind myself of who i am and not be tempted to be critical and eyeball-rolling and negative.

this later end of this year put a 'should be negligible' emphasis on food. it's bad really. my take on eating has always been live to eat. but there's been too many experiences and influences this year that highlighted non-eating. the take on the perfect body shape is now model-stick-like-ness. and i really cannot enjoy taking my food when friends and family around me watch their food soo much. meagre portions during buffets, almost non-existent carbo helpings, complaints about eating too much all the time. it's driving me crazy.

and what's not helping is that i gained a mighty 3kg in a few weeks. suddenly all my pants got too tight and i have people telling me i've gained weight. ppl at home calling me fat ): so instead of turning to depression, i took up a diet (which may be just as bad). well i'm back to my normal weight now but what followed the diet was a harsh consciousness on watching my diet. i used to enjoy food so much. i still do. but there's like something that takes away a little of the enjoyment. and i really don't appreciate the something being there. so in the new year i'm going to try to accept my body for the way it is. eat with a vengence without hitting on excessive. and no more diets pls!

and i've finally kept on my plan to exercise more. have been running quite alot this year. managed to hit 5k before spraining an ankle. i guess i'll consider that an achievement. i've never run more than 3k in my life ever. last year at this time if you told me that i'd be running 5k, i'd be asking you to stuff a sock down your throat..in the politest way of course! (((: but i've signed up for the sundown 10k this coming may with mel and joy! so no matter what, i'll be running alot more this year. and it comes with the prettiest run singlet!

last year's resolution was more sleep, more exercise. i guess i managed to achieve that. have been sleeping over an average of 10hrs per day this year. this sem is gonna be real hectic coz it's 6 core modules. so it's gonna be better sleeping habits. slping and waking up at normal times. i'm doing it slping at 4am and waking up at 2pm these days. it's gonna be latest to bed by 2am and up at 10am the latest. i've gotta get some sunny mornings into my system.

and i've to be more disciplined. have been a horrible human this year. not knowing my priorities. gossip girl over drug quiz bla bla..and less whining and sulking. coz i really hate people who do that..and i've come to realised i've picked it up over the year! yikes!

so here goes...
- be more friend than enemy with my dearest frenemy
- eat like i deserve it
- run my first 10k
- better sleeping habits
- work on discipline, whining, sulking and being critical

there it doesn't seem too much now when it's put into a list. so happy 2009 everyone! it's gonna be a good one!